** Let it go and if it comes back then its real right? Well what happens when it comes back with more B.S than it left with?...... **
TAKE ME AS I AM ..... and not who I was.
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"Did you hear that?" Neesha said walking with me over to the kitchen and setting the cake back down. We'd be cutting it to put slices in the goodie bags for the kids to take home.
"What?" I said back knowing exactly what she was talking about. I was in shock honestly. and lucky for me after Zion seemingly saying his first words he burst into a fit of laughter and clapped, causing the whole party to irrupt into cheers for him so it took this attention from my clearly confused child.
"Has he done that before? Called Michael Da-da?" She quizzed and I shook my head.
"Oh that? Naw he didn't say Da-da. He said Ba-ba. That's what I call his pacifier. Michael had it in his hand from earlier." I explained - lied, still not looking away from the cake pieces I was cutting and by now the party was finishing up. All the kids had ran themselves tired and eaten themselves into sugar comas and the smaller babies were knocked out too. Thank fuck.
"Mm hmm Okay Kam... You know you ain't got to pretend with me right?" She said and I rolled my eyes. One thing Neesh did that constantly pissed me off, was she pried. It's how she got her ass beat the last time. I mean what did she want me to say? That my 1 year old had just spoken his first words - that weren't 'ma-am', and not only that but he was a genius who could associate things with familiar people, but also extremely confused and impressionable? This was all my fault. I couldn't face Chris after this, If Neesha heard it then so did the entire party and I know regardless of how much me or him tried to brush it off. He'd never be okay with it.
"Girl ain't nothing to pretend for. Can you see if mama J wants a piece to take home?" I shut her down swiftly and she blinked squinting a little, then let out a sigh indicating that she would drop it for now, then walked away from me to kindly do as i'd asked.
Within the hour everyone had pretty much left the rental home and the cleaners i'd booked had just shown up. All in all it was a nice party and my baby had a good time that he'd look back at photographs from and know that his parents always gave him the best. Chris offered to pay for the whole thing and just like his child support cheque, I refused it. I didn't need the help with the party and the money he'd offered dozens of times to send me for Zion's up keep every month, I told him to put aside for when he got older or I ever actually needed it. His argument was that Zion would be rich his whole life and mine was that the money he set aside could make him wealthy one day.
"What you thinking about?" Michael said from the other end of the counter taking my attention from my phone. I was in the process of replying to a few messages from my IG followers who had sent messages, posts and s/o to celebrate Zion. It was still so crazy to me that people could care so much about a little baby; it was a blessing.
"Nothing... What you thinking about?" I quizzed back and he smiled widely at me as he reached over the counter to me.
"I'm so happy to be home." He said rubbing my ring finger and I smiled back, his smile was infectious.
