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Chapter 17: Not Enough

DAILY RAMEN NEWSFLASH - April 16

Search continues for Intelligent Life on Earth - As scientists are now fairly certain that they have identified life on other planets, they have turned their focus home to try to find signs of intelligent life on earth. "There are many lifeforms that inhabit the third planet from our sun," chief NASA researcher explains. "But what we are looking for is some sort of sentience, some sign of the ability to learn and evolve."

In our efforts to play devil's advocate to this search, the staff of the Daily Ramen has begun to compile a series of profiles, as well as counter-measures to avoid these 'unintelligent' life forms we all encounter on a daily basis. Need advice on how to deal with the obnoxious, horny drunk that keeps hitting on you at the party? The boss whose IQ is less than twenty but controls your existence? Your co-worker who keeps trying to draw naked pictures of you and post them in the internet? We have solutions. Some of which won't even land you in prison. Contact us if you have a situations you need advice on! And keep an eye out for our latest thinking, captured in our new book that will be coming out in a few months: Survival Guide to Living in a World of Dumbasses - A book of collected wisdom, created by the staff of the Daily Ramen

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Sasuke had buried himself in work to avoid all the annoying texts and calls regarding his 'hot bachelor' status. That was what he paid Sakura to deal with and get rid of. He was looking through the latest risk profile of one of the larger hedge fund ventures they had recently begun investing in when the door to his office opened.

He felt a flicker of unease when he saw the grim expression on Itachi's face as his older brother walked in, then closed the door behind him.

"So this is a closed-door meeting, Nii-san?" Sasuke asked, arching an eyebrow and bracing himself for bad news. Closed-door meetings with his brother never boded well. "I am assuming that if one of our subsidiaries had gone under or someone in the family had been arrested, I would have been informed by now."

Itachi looked at him for a moment. "Have you been checking the news feeds today?"

Sasuke looked back down at his risk assessment, hoping to cut this topic short. "No. That's what we hired Sakura for. I've been doing actual work."

Itachi let out a sound that from anyone else Sasuke would have called a huff.

"So you aren't aware that it's all over the local papers that you were caught on a date last night with your 'boyfriend' Yagura?"

Sasuke's head snapped up, and a strange tightness began spreading through his lungs. Shit. There was no way Naruto wouldn't have seen it. They hadn't had a chance to talk about why Sasuke had had to cancel last minute the other night. He had been planning to tell Naruto tonight over dinner... to roll his eyes at his crazy uncle and have Naruto say something sarcastic again about him needing help getting laid.

He hadn't expected it to make the papers. There hadn't been much to tell. Sasuke was pretty sure he and Yagura hadn't even shaken hands. He froze at the thought that Naruto might believe Sasuke actually had a boyfriend and was screwing Naruto on the side, though he had a feeling Naruto would have shown up and put a fist through his face if he did. Naruto was not the kind of person to put up with dishonesty. Neither was Sasuke. He just hoped Naruto knew him well enough to understand that.