The Half-Blood Princess

Chapter 36- Evil Act

When Regulus returned home from his own mission later that day, he found Sabrina crying on their bed.
"Rina, what's wrong?" He asked, as he made his way onto the bed so that he could embrace her.
"I killed him" sobbed Sabrina, as she melted into Regulus's arms.
"Killed who?" Asked Regulus.
"My father. The dark lord took me back to my house, and forced me to kill my father, while my mother watched"
"What he did was cruel. But it's alright now. You're home. You're safe".

Sabrina sniffed loudly and did everything in her power to hold back the tears.
"You probably think that I'm being silly, crying over someone that I didn't like" admitted Sabrina.
Regulus shook his head, and stroked Sabrina's hair soothingly.
"Even if you didn't like him, he was still your father. He was someone you've known all your life, and not only is he now dead, but you were forced to kill him. So your reaction is completely understandable" insisted Regulus.
"I shouldn't have done it. I should have told the dark lord no, and refused to do it" replied Sabrina.
"You couldn't have done that, because he would have killed you. You did what was necessary to keep us both alive".

"I'm starting to think that maybe we are on the wrong side after all. And perhaps I should've accepted Dumbledore's offer of help. He is the only person powerful enough to stand against the dark lord, and I pushed him away when he could have helped us" admitted Sabrina.
"We can't change our past actions. If we could, then neither of us would be here right now, because we never would have joined the death eaters if we knew where we were going to end up" sighed Regulus.
"I don't want to do this anymore" cried Sabrina.
"I know. Me neither. But we don't have a choice. We have to stay in the dark lord's good books, if we want to survive".

"I killed someone today. I killed my own father, just like the dark lord did when he was our age. How am I supposed to live with that?" Questioned Sabrina.
"We've all done things that we regret. And if we don't want to lose our minds, we will have to move on and put the bad stuff behind us. It's the only way we are going to get through this" answered Regulus.
"I don't think I'm as strong as you" replied Sabrina.
"I think you are stronger than me. You are the one who puts on a brave face in front of all the pure-bloods, even though deep down you are terrified that they will discover your secret. That takes a strength that I don't think I have".

"Lying to people is easy. I've been doing it all my life. But becoming a murderer is different, and it's not the kind of person that I want to be" announced Sabrina.
"You know as well as I do, that there is no going back. The dark lord is not going to let either of us go now" reminded Regulus.
"I know. And now that he knows I can use the killing curse, he will be expecting me to use it on missions"
"Really? Killing your abusive father is one thing, but killing an innocent stranger is something else entirely".

"In order to kill my father I had to think about all my worst memories of him, to make myself angry. I won't be able to do that with strangers" admitted Sabrina.
"No. But the Ministry are giving aurors permission to use lethal spells soon. So if they are firing those kind of spells at us, then it will make attacking them back easier" replied Regulus.
"I am surprised that the Ministry is allowing their own employees to use Unforgivable Curses. I thought the whole point of those Curses, is that they were unforgivable. The were supposed to be so bad, that no decent person would ever use them. But they can't be that bad if the Ministry are going to start using them against us"
"I think aurors are going to be allowed to use the killing curse, if their lives are in danger. But I don't think they will be using all of the Unforgivable Curses".

"Still, I'm surprised the Ministry are actually taking actions against us. You know how useless they normally are" admitted Sabrina.
"Well Barty Crouch's ideas are quite popular at the moment. He wants tougher punishments on people like us" reminded Regulus.
"He wouldn't want that if he knew that his own son is one of us now"
"No. But I don't expect that idea has even crossed his mind. He thinks his son is perfect"
"Which is why Barty Crouch jr was so desperate to rebel. And now he is one of us. Although I think he is a lot more devoted and dedicated to the cause than we are"
"That's because he hasn't been sent on any missions yet. I'm sure his attitude will change once he's been forced to kill someone".

"They say that killing rips the soul apart... Is my soul damaged now, because of what I've done?" Asked Sabrina quietly.
"No. You did not commit that crime because you wanted to. You had no choice. You didn't kill your father because you wanted revenge, or because it made you happy. You did it because the dark lord made you. So I don't think it will have any impact on your soul" admitted Regulus.
"Maybe his death won't. But what about the other people I will be forced to kill over the next few months? Will they rip my soul apart even further?"
"If you are being forced to do it, then the act is not evil. Listen to me Sabrina, you are good, and perfect in my eyes. So don't let what has happened change you. I love you, and my affections for you will never change, I give you my word".