Circles | Eren x Reader

Chapter 21- Ackermans:

(Y/N)'s POV:

    I walked to the cool stoned patio where the hot tub was, dipping my feet in and watching the little bubbles dance above the water. I thought I had heard the sliding glass door open behind me, but I didn't see anyone there. Suddenly, a voice sounded from behind me:

"You kissed him, didn't you?"

    "GAH!" I jumped up on my feet and turned to see Captain Levi. He waited for my answer. "Yes," I admitted.

    "Tch, brat. Not that I care about any of your personal feelings, but I'd recommend you'd stay away from them," he advised. "For the sake of this team, of course."

    "Them?" I questioned, "As in Eren and Jean?"

    "Correct. It's not in your best interest to interfere with the two of them. There is no middle road here."

    "And it's not your best interest to meddle in the affairs of teenage girls," I observed. "So why are you here?"

    "Because I refuse to add another casualty to the long list that Eren and Jean's feud has created." He put his hand over his eyes and shook his head, "It's tiring. Cleaning up after them."

    "You realize you don't have to right? Your job as Team Captain doesn't extend nearly that far. Like not even close to that area. At all."

    "I suppose not. Perhaps, my work here is done then," he turned to go.

    "W—Wait!" I called him back. "Please stay."

    "Brat. You tell me I can leave and now force me to stay?"

    "I just need you for one question. Maybe, since you've been with them for so long, you could explain just why Eren is so persistent at 'getting back' or 'one-upping'— or whatever he does— Jean?"

    Levi crossed his arms and shook his head. "It goes both ways, (Y/N). Each is trying to outdo the other. I can offer you no explanation— it's been that way forever between the two of them. It just so happens that right now, you are the trophy they're fighting over."

    Tears started welling up in my eyes.

    "Quit crying, brat— I won't tolerate any broken hearts." He sighed, "I'm sorry, I can't give you the answer you're looking for. The two of them were born to be at each other's throats forever. In their eyes, the other is the only competitor capable of being 'the best' and so they prioritize beating each other over all else."

    "But Captain, you're the best. At soccer, school, and practically everything else."

    "Tch. I know. But I'm out of their league— so they choose to fight for second best." When I didn't reply, he continued, "You just have to understand that there's no explanation deeper than them just having the incentive to win, constantly."

    "S— so," I stuttered, trying to hold back tears, "D— do you think Jean was just acting like he liked me to irritate Eren?"

    Levi thought for a moment. "No. I think Jean made the poor decision to like you on his own."

    I ignored that he said 'poor'. "So, then, after Eren figured that out, he made it his life goal to take me away from him?"

    "I think, originally, that was his intention. However, it's unlike Eren to pay this much attention to a silly little girl like you. I'd say, in most circumstances at least, that Eren's moral compass steers him away from taking any person that Jean holds dear. Call it 'bro code', if you must." He sighed in embarrassment after using that term. "Normally, he'd try to steal you from Jean for about a day— before the two of you get established, so to speak— get bored or fail, and then pick another girl that was superior to you to outdo Jean. However, if that were still the case, you wouldn't be causing all of these problems right now. Instead, he's become obsessed with the idea of obtaining you." Levi stared into the black sky. "I am making the bold assumption that Eren's moral compass still points North. If that is the case, then he wouldn't be bothering you if it weren't for another underlying reason."

    I processed this for a moment before summarizing, "So, in simple terms—"

    Levi cut me off. "In simple terms, Eren wants you for his own selfish reasons— reasons that he refuses to disclose even to himself— so much so, that he is willing to break his own moral code to get you." He scoffed, "Tch— I think the brat has gotten attached."

    Wow. That's a lot to process. "I appreciate your bluntness, Captain Levi. It makes it easier to understand." I thanked him.

    "I'm going back inside. Stay out of trouble, (L/N)." He cautioned.

    I sat back down to think, observing the bubbles pop and spin in the jacuzzi water. So, according to Levi, whose opinion I trust dearly, Eren is pining for me because he likes me, not to get back at Jean; Jean likes me just because; and I should just do us all a favor and jump off a cliff so this can be over.

    "Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now?!" I shouted at the moon.

    "If I were you, I'd pick Jean," a voice said. I jumped— why can't people make it clear that they're outside with me?

    It was Mikasa. Two Ackermans in one night. Jackpot.

    "Why?" I sneered, "Because you want Eren all to yourself?" I wasn't sure why I was being so hostile towards the girl. After all, it was nice of her to come outside with me in the first place.

    "No," she sat down next to me with her legs crossed. "(Y/N), do you truly think I am that possessive over Eren that I would deny him his happiness to be with me instead?"

    "...Yes."

    "Unfortunately for the both of us, you are wrong." She continued what she had been saying earlier, "The reason I would pick Jean is because Eren refuses to admit his feelings for you, even to himself. Right now, he is incapable of giving you the affection you deserve because he has deluded himself with the idea that he wants you only to have power over Jean." She stopped herself, "I believe Levi has already explained this to you."

    I nodded.

    "I don't expect you to listen to me after the way I've treated you, but if you're smart, you'll take either my or Levi's advice: pick Jean, or run away entirely." She sighed, looking up at the stars as if remembering something. "I don't think we've ever talked once, but I've seen your actions— and judging by your actions, you probably won't run away from this. So, do us all a favor and pick the right one. I know Eren can be quite... irritating, at times— but he's easier to fall for than you'd think."

    She got up to leave— Mikasa kept things blunt and concise, much like Levi. "Heed my warning," she said, walking through the door into the brightly lit room, "This is the only time I will not put Eren first."