Circles | Eren x Reader

Chapter 66- All You Get:

(Y/N)'s POV:

I sat on the curb of the bus loop, staring up at the night sky. There were hardly any stars to be seen because of the horrible light pollution in the city. I held up my head on one hand and scrunched my dress up with the other and sighed. I shivered, watching my breath fade away into the frigid air. Where was summer?

"Maybe I should've just kissed him," I mumbled. "Then, this would be over and done with. Besides, it was a little unfair for me to snap at him anyway..." I trailed off, lost in thought.

I heard the shuffling of clothing beside me, but didn't look over.

"Looking for your soccer sweatshirt?" I saw Eren grin from the corner of my eye. "I think it's definitely gone by now." He paused, "You can borrow mine, if you'd like. It's in my locker."

I didn't respond.

Eren looked at the floor and bit his lip in thought. "(Y/N)... I'm really sorry." He stared at me earnestly, "I am. I shouldn't have pushed you away when you visited me at work, and I definitely shouldn't have tried to kiss you earlier."

I refused to meet his eyes.

"Would you please look at me?" he asked, almost desperately. "I know... I know you said you would never forgive me this time. And you have every right to stick to your decision. But, I want you to know, that even if that's the case... I'm not going to stop fighting for you." Eren sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'll leave you alone, sure. I'll give you the space you deserve... Lord knows I've way overstayed my welcome... but I'll be waiting. I'll fight for the notion that you'll come back to me."

Silence.

I waited for Eren to continue, but he didn't say anything more. Shouldn't that be enough for me? He apologized, sincerely. Part of me wanted to accept it, but another part of me was in denial. An insecure, selfish part of me that always pushed me to fight with Eren.

"You're doing this because you want to make out with me, aren't you?" I asked quietly.

"What?" Eren said in dismay. "Of course not! Why would I—"

"That's all you really want from me, isn't it? If you wanted anything else, you would've apologized before."

"(Y/N), I—" He stumbled over his words, "I'm stupid. I only did that because I'm bad at this kind of stuff. You, of all people, should know that."

"That doesn't make it right, Yeager," I said flatly.

"Oh, so I'm 'Yeager' to you now?" he asked, tone rising. "You're distancing yourself from me— again?"

"I'm not distancing myself from anyone!" I retorted, finally meeting his eyes. They were burning, but not with hatred. With hurt.

"Yes, you are! You always do this, (Y/N)!!" Eren argued back, standing up and loosening his tie absentmindedly. "You always draw conclusions that aren't fucking true!"

"Well," I started, pushing myself on my feet. "Maybe I only draw these fucking 'untrue conclusions' because you're so Goddamn confusing all the time!" I flailed my arms out in anger, my face growing flush with rage.

"I'm confusing?!" he said, motioning at himself. "You're the confusing one— you never tell me what you're thinking!"

"I tried to tell you what I was thinking— but you fucking cut me off last time!!" I screamed.

"I said I was SORRY!!" he yelled back. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

I saw the sincerity in his eyes behind his growing annoyance. Eren wasn't angry. In fact, it didn't seem like he was close to being angry with me.