Semper Fidelis

Chapter 15.9

Harry found James sat underneath the familiar oak tree off to the side of the Quidditch pitch that had become their place. Every morning with no fail, James would wait for Harry to descend from the skies by that oak tree to just have a talk before breakfast. It had become something Harry looked forward to every morning since he enjoyed the boy's company so much. They would talk  - about Quidditch, about James' classes, about Hogwarts and life in general. James would tell Harry about Teddy's and Nates' antics and Harry would laugh since his godsons were always a riot. When the boy asked about his work as an Auror, Harry told him the truth. Not going into detail, of course, but enough to sate Jame's curiosity about the job of being a dark wizard catcher. He had many questions and Harry answered them all; sometimes telling him things Harry had never told anyone before. Personal things, like how Harry felt when one of his raids went awry and they lost a civilian. Or how difficult it always was to be away from family. They talked about family too. To Harry, that word meant the Weasleys, the Gryphons, Sirius, and Hogwarts. To James, Harry soon found out, that word only meant his mum. Harry had wanted to ask about James' father before but always held himself back. It wasn't his place to ask, Harry thought, and James had always seemed protective of his mother. Not evasive since Harry didn't ask any prying questions, but protective nonetheless.

Funny that it turned out he was actually James' father.

Actually, no. Not funny at all.

The sound of footsteps on the grass drew James' attention. He continued to sit underneath the tree, but his head turned.

"Guys, I would really appreciate - PROFESSOR POTTER!"

A blur of black and Harry felt strong arms gripping him around the waist. Harry took a long breath in as he put his hands on James' shoulders and squeezed. He felt the boy's shoulders shaking underneath his hands. He extracted himself from James' grip and knelt in front of him.

With Harry on his knees, his own eyes were levelled with James'. He saw that the tears were back. Those brown eyes, Hermione's brown eyes, were filling with tears at the corners as James looked scared and hopeful and worried at the same time.

How could Harry have been so blind?

James looked exactly like Hermione, except for the hair which was all his. Those eyes, the nose, the mouth. Harry could see an eleven year old Hermione Granger in them.

"Did you find my mum? Is she okay?" James asked. His fists were clenched on either side as he looked hopeful towards the man whom he believed would make things alright again.

Harry smiled sadly at his son. "We're still looking, James. My team and I came back here to ask Professor McGonagall some questions, and to ask you, and Nate, and Teddy some too. We've already asked the boys, but would it be okay if we just... talk for a while?" Harry asked.

The tears did spill this time when James heard his mum still remained lost. The boy let out a breath of resignation but nodded his head at Harry. There was a shift in his demeanor which Harry noticed as he turned and sat back down underneath the oak tree. Harry followed his lead.

From their location, Harry could see the whole Quidditch field stretched out before him. He glanced at the quiet boy on his right. Aside from the tears which were drying in his eyes, James looked almost fine. His back was ramrod straight as he gazed out into the Quidditch field, lips were pursed as no sobs escaped, and his arms were wrapped tightly around his legs which he had drawn up to his chest. His face was impassive. No sunshine bright smiles this time, but no grimace of fear either.

It wasn't how an eleven year old boy should be at a moment like this and Harry felt his heart ache. Like him, his son was trying to hold it all in.