Only Yours

Problems

LILAH'S POV

I regret it.

I honestly don't even know why we kissed.

I'm not into him.. Lilah.

Fuck.

It's kept me up all nights for the past few weeks.

It gets harder and harder to sleep every single God damn night because, I feel guilty.

*3 weeks ago*

I pulled away from the kiss because I just couldn't continue. I'm supposed to despise Elijah, not be attracted to him.

"We shouldn't have done that." I tell him, in a defensive tone.

He looks pretty confused and I can guess why.

"I don't like you like that Elijah. I never have and I'm not going to start anytime soon. I don't know why I kissed you I just-"

"I get it.." Elijah cut me off. Hurt evident in his tone. I don't want o hurt him. But I CANNOT get hurt myself. I'm supposed to be detached from feelings. And I 100% was, until Elijah entered my fucking life.

"Elijah, i'm really sorry." I apologized.

"It's fine Lilah." He replied. Uninterested in anything I had further to say.

*Now*

Sometimes he would make petty comments and say slick things hinting to how I hurt him that night.

When he first started making them they were just playful jokes. But now i'm starting to think he actually has feelings towards me.

He even postponed the plan by a month..

I get out of a bed and don't even bother getting ready for the day. I head downstairs and nobodies here.. Again..

It's been like this for the past week. I'm purposely being left out on things.. And not just stuff that has to do with work.

Whenever they play games I get excluded, non-serious meetings.. Even stuff as small as helping with a favor.

I hurt Elijah, I hurt everyone.

I'm not bothered by it though. Sometimes the peace and quiet is nice.. Too nice.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't tried draw the end of the line for me a few times. But I just can't do it.

It's definitely not a "they'll miss me," kind of thing.

It's more of a, "i'm too cool to go out that way."

I'm not even hungry for anything.

I haven't eaten in like a week, except for maybe an apple.. No one's noticed and I could care less. If I end up dying of hunger, i'd be satisfied.

I walk into the living room and I hear whispers.. But they're not deep or accent filled like the ones i've became accustomed to. So I came to a conclusion; They're American's.

I quickly and quietly head to Elijah's office.. But of course it's fucking locked. I know he has a alarm system hooked up to it for some reason. And I also know this is where the best guns are..

So.. What do they say??

I'm gonna risk it for the biscuit.

I grab the heaviest thing I can find and slam it into the alarm. It took a few times but eventually it broke and the light turned green. I don't have time to look for a bobby pin so I use all my strength to kick the door down. Hearing footsteps coming my way a little after I do.