The Enemy Lives Next Door (bxb) - Completed

Twenty-Three

2 3.

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Lilly could be right.

Maybe I did like, or perhaps love Liam, but I was afraid to admit my feelings. Not only that, but he was my brother's best friend. What would Gale do if he found out about it?

It was better to tell him now rather than later. I didn't want to do the same thing Adam did to me — withholding important information.

I tossed, and turned that night, unable to sleep. Should I call Liam, and apologize? Or should I just go over there and stand my ground? I didn't know what to do. It was killing me.

It was about eleven at night when I staring at my white ceiling, thinking about what Lilly told me. He did make me feel better about myself despite our arguments, and playful fights. But being so unsure didn't make the decision making very easy.

My heart was yelling yes, but my head was screaming no. Sometimes my heart made the most stupid decisions without even consulting my brain.

I groaned out loud. This was so frustrating!

Perhaps I was in denial about everything, or maybe I was getting way to ahead of myself. I should apologize for my behavior because as much as I hates to to admit it, Liam didn't deserve my tantrum, and harsh words I said to him.

Neither did my brother.

Just thinking about it made me feel sick yet I wanted to do this. I've spent a lot of time with him, and he created a home inside my heart. I was just too afraid to admit what I was actually feeling. I wasn't really good at expressing my feelings.

Liam did stick up to the end of his bargain — he got Adam to go on a date with me, and spend as much time with me as possible — so why I was hesitant to talk to Liam?

Truth be told, Liam was the one I wanted if I really thought about it. But did he want me? This was the most important question. I'm pretty sure he didn't want to see me anytime soon after the way I treated him. I mean, I wouldn't want to see myself after my episode.

I turned on my side, and stared out the window. Liam's bedroom light was on, and I wondered what he was doing right now. All this made sense. I just didn't want  to admit it. It made me feel vulnerable.

Everything Lilly told me made absolute sense.

Even if I were to tell him that he makes me feel comfortable, and weird. The most terrifying question is; can he reciprocate my feelings? Would he feel the same giddiness I felt?

Whatever the outcome might be, I mentally prepared myself for it, or maybe I should just let it all go, and let the Earth swallow me whole. All this time I'd spent with Liam I hadn't realized that I actually felt something for him. I didn't want to accept this feelings I felt for him because he was, indeed, my enemy, and my worst nightmare.

And if he didn't feel the same way about me?
That question kept popping into my head. But what if it does? Do I act as if nothing happened, or does I hide these stupid feelings in my pocket, hoping somehow he'd search for it?

There was way too negatives than positives.

I randomly grabbed a pillow to cover my face, and screamed into it. Who knew my life would take such a dramatic turn? Uncovering my face, I sat up, and ran my hands through my hair.