21 | platonic friends

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I V Y T H O M P S O N

My body feels like a rock when I pry my eyes open. Every inch of flesh and muscle aches like I've run a thousand marathons. I slump into my pillow, not bothering to move. I reach over to my bedside table and grab my phone.

Shock. No notifications.

I raise a hand to rub my crusty eyes. I'm so relieved I didn't drink last night. For some reason waking up like this feels worse than any hangover, I couldn't imagine what a drop of alcohol would have done.

My eyes close again and I replay last night. Daisy humiliating me in front of JJ, Isaac dropping me home, getting in a car that isn't my parents or Finn's for the first time in almost three years, JJ kissing me against the wall.

When my heart lurches in my chest, I think I'm about to go into cardiac arrest.

JJ's mouth tastes and feels like absolute bliss. I'm having flashbacks to the way he pushed me into the wall and cupped my cheek, my skin flushing with a new desire for his tongue against mine.

Fuck. He felt so good.

But I know this isn't the right thing to do. Not only would it destroy Finn, I'm putting myself in a vulnerable position when I know that JJ doesn't even see me like that. We are lusting after one another, we had great sexual chemistry–probably down to the eight cocktails I drank that night.

He doesn't want me. He wants his dick wet because it's familiar.

JJ would never want to get serious with a girl like me when someone like Daisy is freely walking around and making themselves available. I'm not strong and confident like she is, the sort that emits pure attraction because girls who are insecure are not as appealing.

I'm broken. I've been broken for the best part of my life and I'm trying to ignore it.

I know for a fact that Finn has an early shift this morning, he's probably already at work. Which means I don't want to be stuck in the house with JJ, not after last night. I won't be able to face him just yet.

Daisy probably won't even remember what she said last night but deep down I'm mad at her because it was uncalled for. I know she was drunk but it still hurt my feelings, that she's trying to make a point that everyone finds her attractive and I'm just her ugly sidekick.

My phone buzzes in my hand and I furrow my brows. My stomach twists, I don't want it to be Daisy. I need some time away from her. But then I'm pleasantly surprised to find Isaac's name pop up on the screen.

Isaac

Hey, how are you feeling this morning?

I smile at the simple message. Checking in. And he has no idea how much it means to me.

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