From Vows to Forever

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒: 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝

"In your eyes, I see the stars,
And I feel the beating of my heart,
With every breath, my love for you,
Grows stronger, deeper, forever true."

"Hi, I'm Nyesa." I say in a shy voice, I'm an introvert through and through. I used to be such an extrovert but after 13 I had severe PTSD and immediately turned extrovert. No one knows I have PTSD in my house, I hide it with my life, if they knew they will all find new reasons to hate me.

"Ayaan" he says in his hot voice. Oh my god I need to stop. I attach to people so fast, not kidding, if anyone so much as to listened to me for 5 minutes I would immediately get attached to them. That's why I have to talk the least I can, with him. He seems like a good listener, i can't get attached to him.

"Mr. Aggarwal, how about we give them some time to talk?" Ayaan's dad says and all the family members agree , get up and leave the room. I suddenly I feel more shy than ever, and extremely anxious. Where is Sweety? When I need her. I am sitting silently and he is sitting beside me, not saying anything, but the silence is making me bite my nails and my lips. I bite my lips so tightly that they start to bleed.

"Do you want to get married to me?" He says and I'm surprised, I didn't know he would ask that, I thought he wouldn't care if I married him willingly or not. After all, no one does really care about me. I can't say no, then what if he says no to marry me. My dad will blame me and scream at me, and call me unwanted again. So nod slightly. "Speak the answer,please!" He says in a soft voice.

"Yes" i don't have an option, is what I want to say but I don't. Maybe I will finally escape this hell even if I may be going to another hell. "So tell me about yourself. What are your hobbies?" He asks me. I don't look at him and answer in a faint voice "I like to paint, but I am not so good." "Would you like to show me?" He asks. "Not really,they are not so nice" I say. " okay maybe later" he says.

And just like that we sat in silence for a little more while, I could see he wanted to ask me questions but he held back. After a 5 minutes more both our moms came to call us. We entered the dining room together , our parents were talking together. "Ok babies, we have decided the date for the marriage to take place. It will be on 23 May" Ayaan's mom says.

In 3 weeks, we will be married. I will be married, I will be leaving this hell hole, at some point I feel happy. But also at the same time I am going to a strangers house, who might do god knows what to me. "I'm fine with it. What about you?" Ayaan says, and then turns to ask me, "Sure" i say, I don't have a say in anything, anyways, why does it matter what I say.

Soon the breakfast was laid on the table,it was all of my favourite food . But as my dad told me in the morning, to eat less of the junk food, or I will get fat and get acne. And all the food was fried food, I got up and went to the kitchen, and told Rajveer Bhaiya, our cook, to make me a roti and give me curd.

I went back to the dining room, sat on my chair, which was next to Ayaan's . I tried to eat the salad only, for at least 30 minutes. After that I excused myself, and went to the kitchen and took my plate and went to my garden, where my troubled mind was at peace. Sat on the grass, and ate my breakfast in silence.

"You really love roses don't you?" Ayaan's voice break me out of my overthinking. "I do" I say and get up off the ground. And walk into the kitchen again. I know he wanted to say something about what I ate but chose to stay quiet. I keep my plate in the sink and walk out in the garden again.

I take my pruners and cut all the thorns in the one white rose. And carefully cut it out, I clean the rose. And turn on my toe and offer it to him as he looks at me with curiosity. "Thank you!" He says and a beautiful smile with dimpled cheeks takes over his face.

"You know you're really beautiful," he says and i immediately say "that's because I have makeup on. You will not say the same when you see me without makeup" "you want to bet?" He says. The wind flys and my short hair fly over my face and his scent hits my nose again. Such a beautiful scent.

I don't ask any questions, because dad said not to talk too much, because then I will start to sound stupid. "Where do you work?" He asks. " I work in Wipro, as a manager of UI/UX department." I say, still cutting the thorns of the roses. "Do you have any pets?" He asks, I say "no" but I want one so bad,but I don't say I don't want to come off as demanding.

After I was all done we both walk inside. He stops me midway to the dining room by keeping a hand on my forearm,and says "do you want to go get food someday, if you want?" He says in his hopeful voice. I crush his hope but I can't, the more I talk to him , the more I will fall for him. "No, I'm sorry I don't have time, next three weeks are really busy for me."

I can't risk my heart again, call me coward. I have given my heart to a lot of people, they end up breaking it. But my heart seems to love talking to him.