The Edge

Luca: Part One

Luca was convinced his powers were more sensitive when he was anxious.

It was just his overactive mind picking up the atmosphere his siblings were giving off. He knew that. He was sensitive to the moods of others; it was part of his debilitating fear of rejection and abandonment. But sometimes he'd swear he was literally feeling something in the air, the same way he would by touching something physical.

That wasn't how it worked. There were no on the record cases of powers like his letting people do that. But that didn't stop him from wondering.

That sense of being able to feel everyone's distress was the reason he'd sealed himself in the room. He felt a little bad about avoiding everyone, especially after the heart to heart he'd had with Gideon. But Luca also knew he might have a panic attack if he was around anyone too long. So he sat in his room and kept playing the same four chords to try and calm down.

A lot of songs were the same four chords in different arrangements. Some people didn't like that, but Luca had never minded. It made things predictable.

There hadn't been a lot of predictability in his life since Cassandra had gone missing.

Her old room was right down the hall. All he had to do was go down there and start touching things. It may not get them all the answers, but it might get them something. Luca had never willingly used his abilities to spy on his siblings, but if he was ever going to do it, wouldn't now be the time?

But Helen hadn't asked him to...and if he was being honest, Luca wasn't sure he wanted to know. There was no guarantee that he'd learn where Cassandra had gone, and who knew what else he might see? It was an invasion of privacy that might add more stress to his already stressful life.

Then again...

Luca set his guitar down and groaned. "Damn it, Cass." It felt meant to blame her, especially when he didn't know why she'd left, but he wasn't sure who else to blame. She'd just vanished into the night without telling anyone where she was going or why. If something was wrong, why not tell them? And why did she think going all the way out here was going to help anything?

The thought had been growing the further they went, and especially since they'd left the last planet. Luca was pretty sure they'd crossed the very end of what was considered "populated" deep space. There were other settlements leading up to the Edge, but they were spread out, too small to really count as settlements. Sometimes they were nothing more than a few lonely scientists looking at space radiation on a planet with only microorganisms to its name. If anything went wrong, there'd be no one around to help them.

And if anything had gone wrong with Cassandra, there'd be no one around to help her. They were trying their best, but there was no guarantee they'd reach her in time if anything did.

Seriously, Cass, why did you come here? She could've done some soul-searching or grieved literally anywhere else. He could think of a few good places that weren't potential death traps that allegedly drove people insane. I really wish I understood.

Luca set aside his guitar, stood up, and sat back down again almost immediately. He went to chew on his nails, but shoved his hands underneath his legs. No, absolutely not. That was the one bad habit he hadn't fallen back into yet, and he wasn't about to now. I haven't started chewing my nails again was the only thing he had going for him right now.

He picked up the guitar again and started playing. Just as promptly, he stopped playing and checked his phone. No word from Adoette. She usually texted him when they were getting close to their destination. He had no idea how long it would take; the next spot was so distant and under-explored that he didn't even think it had a name. All they'd been able to get was a set of jump coordinates that lead to a research group and refueling station.

Who'd willingly live like that? They hadn't gotten many details about this Alan guy, not that he knew about, anyway. Maybe Helen knew more, since she'd spoken to John privately, but she hadn't shared if she did. Luca hoped she wasn't holding anything from them on purpose. There was a difference between not having answers and knowing those answers were being kept from you. The latter felt sharper, more anxiety-inducing. Everything about this situation felt like it was giving him stomach ulcers; he didn't want to think there'd be more, worse details on top of that.

At least no one's been kidnapped again?

Wow. The bar is literally in hell.

He was honestly inches away from sleeping to avoid having to deal with anything. Instead, Luca finally got up and went looking for Gideon. His brother still seemed pretty rattled after everything that had gone down on the last planet. And the planet before that.

And...everything else that had happened to the poor guy.

We're all just bundles of nerves and mess in this family.

He found Gideon lying on the couch in the main living area while Tola and Adoette sat nearby. It almost looked like he was napping, but it was hard to tell sometimes. He could look completely asleep but snap awake in a heartbeat if someone breathed too hard. Luca waved to catch Adoette's attention and signed, "He asleep?"

Adoette nodded. "Sand in your shoes?" she asked. Luca grimaced and nodded. It could've been his imagination, but he could swear there was still grit in his shoes from the last planet. He'd switched to thick socks and house slippers as soon as possible. "Same. You seen Helen?"

"She's not up front?"

Adoette shook her head and turned her tablet to face Luca. She had the security camera feed pulled up. Luca could see Matteo and Arian in the cockpit, but no sign of Helen. "Did you check the other cameras?" he asked.

"Don't know if I want to be that nosy." Adoette flipped the tablet back around. She had a something's gone wrong look on her face. She usually had that look when a computer was malfunctioning, but Luca supposed their sister's mysterious behavior was pretty equivalent. Adoette caught Tola's attention and signed, "How's she felt?"

Tola's gaze darted back down to her embroidery, and a feeling of unease radiated off her. Luca couldn't blame her for that. The two of them were in the very specific niche of our powers are accidentally super invasive but we really try not to use them like that. It was worse in situations like this, where the line between acceptable snooping and unacceptable snooping was painted in white in the middle of a snowstorm.

"She feels more sad than usual," Tola finally signed. "It's mostly just sad."

That didn't explain much. There were plenty of reasons for her to be more sad than usual. For instance, the fact that they'd been flying around for ages with no real sign of Cassandra. Just ghosts and echoes. Like the impression left behind when someone touched something.

Luca sat down in the nearest available chair. His fingertips brushed against the arm rest as he did. He saw a flash of Arian sitting there and brooding, phone in hand. It would've been a common scene if Arian hadn't seemed more attached to his phone than usual.

Maybe he tried to talk to her before? Luca thought that had come up in the argument, but honestly, that whole incident was so hard to remember. Everything else that had happened since blurred the bad moments into broad strokes of stress, raised voices, Things Going Wrong. That lack of detail, in turn, just produced more stress.

I want this to be over.

He could only hope the next stop would get them somewhere concrete. At this point, it wasn't just about Cassandra being in danger. Luca wasn't sure how much more he could take.