Mafia's collateral

The feeling of shame

>>Seraphina

What?

I stared at Azef as his words processed in my mind.

He was the one who pushed me down that hill?? I blinked at him in confusion.

It's a memory from years ago but I do recall the specifics. I stared at Azef's hair, the same ash-gray hair that boy had. I looked at his eyes. Yes, those gray eyes, they look the same too.

"I thought I killed you," He relaxed back into the chair, "Funny, it was traumatic for me."

Traumatic for you?

It was traumatic for me!

"I did almost die," I clenched my jaw, "You did 'almost' kill me," I didn't know how to take this information and how to react.

He looked at me with a softer expression, and it looked like he was ashamed of himself, "Sorry," I wasn't expecting him to apologize and it caught me off guard.

"Oh well," I got even further confused, "It's fine I guess, the incident did cause my parents to reconcile, they were struggling but seeing me almost die brought them together again," I just blurted it out

"Ask me," He said out of the blue

"What?"

"Ask me for anything you like," He had a serious expression on, "I'll give it to you,"

I blinked at him in confusion, "Ask for anything I like?" What's going on all of the sudden? He's offering me anything?

"Anything?" I asked to make sure, "You'll listen to my request?"

He nodded, "Tell me, what do you want?"

I guess he really does feel guilty. We were both kids back then and it must have weighed a lot on his mind if he thought he killed me.

It really must have been traumatic for him too.

"Just," My eyes wandered around for a moment before dropping to my lap, "Don't fire me," I said softly, then I looked at him, "I want to keep my job."

"That's all?" He seemed a little surprised, like he was expecting me to ask for something more.

I nodded, "That's all," What else was I supposed to ask for? For him to pay all of my debt? He would laugh at me if I said something like that and I might even run out of this request. I would like to take my chances with what I know I can get.

"Alright..." He seemed disappointed and stood up to leave, "Don't worry, I'll take care of the men who harassed you today." He walked towards the door, "You can continue working there."

A soft wave of relief passed through my chest, "Thank you," I felt better knowing I still had a job but he didn't spare me a glance and opened the door to leave, "Oh!" I remembered something as he stepped out the door, "Did you find Dad?"

He shook his head, stopping only for a second to answer me, "Not yet,"

"I see..."

And then he closed the door behind him.

***

'Dear Mom, I managed to save my job. I'm going to continue working there even though I almost got killed by the hands of gangsters. The job is hectic and can get overwhelming at times but the pay is better than any other part-time job out there.' I pressed the send button,

'I thought the boss would be a total ass, but he's not all that bad,' I pressed sent again and then looked at the manager's office door. I get paid today, so I was sitting on the stool outside the office waiting to be called in.