Separated But Married

He is so confusing.

Lizzy....

"We have to attend a business party tomorrow so be ready on time", he said in a firm tone or you can say that in his as usual ordering tone.

Party?

Me?

With him?

No ways!

"I'm busy tomorrow, I won't go with you", I responded in the same tone like his.

"As if I'm asking you? I'm just informing you!", he replied back with his eyes still glued on his phone.

Like I don't know why people even talk if all they do is staring at the phone's screen.
And especially that tone of him just gets under my skin!

"So you are late to inform me.... I have other plans", I snapped back maintaining my same tone.

"That's a fucking business party and we both are business partners, so we have to be there. So stop over assuming things, I'm not dying to take you on a party!"

I glared back at him, my heart still shrinking by his words.

But yeah! I won't show it to him.

And I took out the blanket and laid my back to his next side of the bed. Yes, we share the same bed.

After that night where I slept on the couch till today I never slept there neither him.
I don't know why he didn't let me sleep again there, just for that shitty sprain.

But why do he care?

Right....?

So instead of him sleeping on the couch, I asked him to sleep on the bed as I don't want any favour from him.

And the one thing that pisses me off that he even didn't let me sleep alone in the other  room. I tried but it all ended up him sharing the same room either sleeping on the couch or the sofa.

So, it's better to sleep peacefully on the same bed.

I can't let him do such stupid stuffs, I can't give him pain just for the sake of mine. It's just out of my zone thing. Especially when it comes to Ryan, I don't know why but I just can't.

I will share his constant daggers but I can't give him the pain, knowingly.

I know he hates me, even though I feel the same, hate him for treating me this way but I can't help it. I just can't give up like this.

As far as I noticed him, he still cares for me the way he always used to!

But it's just...... Our fate! I don't know.....
I lost my best friend.

I miss him! I just miss him badly! I can bear all the pains but him treating me like this is out of my way.

I just can't......

Last two months were the most painful phase.... He never let me be around himself.... I crave for his friendship. I always dreamt of having a happy married life like my parents but this is what has God planned for me. Neither I can deny nor I can accept it.

Even if I do, he will never accept me as his life partner, as his wife.

Let me sound stupid but yes, I want him to treat me like his wife. I'm done with these arguments, this hatred.

I'm so tired.
I'm just done with this feeling of being unloved.

Our parents are very happy to see us together but we know what we are actually! We know on what page our relationship actually stands?