𐔌 . envious ! ୧ hyunho ✔️

| 6 |

" im going, nice catching up with you guys. „ I stood up and put some money on the table as my pay for the ice-cream i had bought. They all looked at me confused but didn't mention anything of it.

" He's acting weird. „ chan mumbled.

—

back at the dorms, i just sat down on my bed and replied to hyunjin's text he had sent me which i didn't get to read.

—

Hyunjin

hyunjin
well you're just insecure about your face.
your ugliness should be hidden sometimes
it's blinding. Even jyp is prettier than you 😹
honestly, everything you do is blinding
you dont belong here
you never will
know that?? 🙈
it's not like anyone would care if you left the group ! not even jyp.
delivered 10:58
read: 11:14

minho
Ok, r u done?

—

' you dont belong here. No one would care if you left the group... ' I read out.

I might be tough on the outside but i was really sensitive to comments like this. I could feel my eyes tearing up ever so slightly. What the fuck minho? You've never cried since!

. . .

He's probably right though. I'm just ruining the group by being there. And to add on, how did he know i was insecure?! I dont even want to get started on this.

—

My eyes were red and swollen. I had just woken up from a random nap i had. Once i found conciousness, i looked around to see hyunjin next to me. Not quite near me but, there was a gap between us.

" you're awake. „ hyunjin narrated as if i didn't realise.

" yeah, i wish i didn't wake up ever though. „ i harmlessly mumbled. he heard it somehow and tilted his head, knowing exactly what i mean.

" dont say that „ he replied hesitantly.

" What's it to you? It's not like you give a fuck about me. „ I snugged the blanket above my mouth.

" Yeah, you're right, i don't but wishing you died also isn't really a thing you should be proud of is it . „ hyunjin asked me in a cold tone.

The fuck did he want??! Just let me lay and think in peace !!

" how did you even get in the dorm?! „ I changed topic.

" dumbass you forgot to lock the door. „ he rolled his eyes and i went flustered from embarassment.

" Right. „ i concluded. i'm so dumb, what

" and why were you crying. „ he questioned me once again.

" Oh my gosh, just go away bitch. „ i thought to myself, not actually saying it outloud.

" Nothing. Just go away now!! „ i whisper-yelled at him. I didn't enjoy his unsettling comfort.

" You're telling me all of this later. „ He insisted. I nodded even though i wasn't going to and took my phone out, opening the camera and facing it to the front to look at my eye. Damn, i was crying a lot??

I had just seen a version of hyunjin i'd never before witnessed. I can't say it for sure but, he sounded like a good comforter if he didn't hate me and i didn't despite him.

i slowly sat up , my back pressing against the wood at the top of the bed.

I didn't have the motivation to get up or do anything. Every day is the same. Boring, meaningless, aggitating, unfun and pityful. I threw my head back, creating a slightly loud sound on the wall.

Hyunjin was still there looking at me with piercing eyes. can he just fuck off?! I didn't want anything to do with him. Especially after he sent all of that.

Throughout the years me and hyunjin had been enemies for, he'd never sent something like that. It had always been ' dttm, fuck off, pass the remote ' Suff like that. We've only had a few convosations online. We never talk to eachother there. Sometimes, he's just scared to say it to my face; thats why.

—

" im sorry about the message „ hyunjin randomly apologised. I almost forgot about it until he said that. I was kind of in disbelief, he was .. Apologising?

" what for. I don't care anyways. „ I boldly hissed.

" Ah okay „ he muttered. I didn't want to look like a softie just then so i acted confident and tough.
I was still in utter shock though.

Talk of a change up- 😭

I've never heard him speak so softly , it was kind of mesmerising.. I mean, what am i saying.