Finding Hearts

Chapter 34

CALLUM

Three minutes and twenty seconds later, I see the door flying open and Katie rushing inside. "Cal, Cal, what's wrong?", she says, arms flying around me. She pulls me closer to her in a hug, not letting go before I kiss her forehead.

As she looks up at me, her gaze lands on Olivia, and Katie lets out a gasp. "Babe", she lets out in a broken tone. She comes sit next to her best friend, placing an arm around her as Olivia tilts her head on Katie's shoulder. The two remain like that for a while, and Olivia visibly calms down at the presence of her best friend.

"Liv, what happened?", Katie asks after some time.

Olivia makes no move to answer.

"It's fine", Katie continues. "Whatever it is, it's fine. We'll get through it. Together."

"I want to die, Katie", Olivia answers. I don't have to look up to see the chill passing through my girlfriend. I feel a similar one at how honest Olivia's voice came out. "Why can't I just-"

"No", Katie cuts her short, not letting her speak out the words. "No, don't you even dare say that." She sinks her lips on the top of Olivia's head and whispers: "No, you're not doing that. You're not going to die. Because you're not leaving me. Not leaving us."

"Katie", Olivia tries to counter.

"No, Liv", my girlfriend almost shouts. I have never seen her like this. Worries flood her features, and there is a shake in her head she tries to hide by digging her nails in her thighs. I take her hand in mine so that she doesn't hurt herself.

"You're not. Please don't. Because although life pains at times, there is still beauty in it."

"But what happens when you drown in pain?", Liv whispers.

"Then you swim", Katie again. A stretched moment of silence, before Katie says: "Let's go home, Liv. Or come over to my place. You can stay there for the night. For as long as you'd like."

Olivia seems to think about it, before she nods. Only pain refills her eyes as she asks: "In a car?"

She stresses out the last word as if it contained poison.

"It's raining outside, Liv", Katie tries to help her. "And you're already wet. You might get sick."

"It doesn't matter. At least I'll know I'll-"

"Don't", Katie stops her. "Don't say that."

But as Liv brushes away her tears and stands up, her expression seems so hollow, she clearly seems to not care whether she'll get sick or not.

"Are you okay?", I catch Katie's wrist before we follow Olivia outside.

She plasters on a reassuring gaze before she drops her mask and she shakes her head. "I'm afraid I'll lose her", she whispers. She hurries outside before I can tell her anything else.

The car ride to her house passes mostly in a blur. I drive while Katie and Olivia are on the backseat. Olivia has her head sunk on Katie's lap, her eyes closed, yet tears storming out of them. Katie keeps brushing her hair, and telling words to soothe this for her best friend.

I'm quite glad as we arrive at the house and I park the car. I don't know whether to follow them or not, yet the look Katie gives me tells me I should. I lock my car and try to keep pace with them, maintaining a safe distance so that they can have their privacy.

No one is home yet, Katie making us a sign to follow her to her room. I would lie if I'd say I don't feel at least bit worried at how relieved Katie seemed that the house was empty. As she opens the door to her room, I realise this is my first time going inside. The whole thing screams Katie. Everything is either pink, white or pastel. A huge bed with a heart shaped headboard, pink bedsheets on. I spot Sundae, the plushie I won her at the arcade sitting on a pastel pink armchair in front of a white coffee table with an empty Ben & Jerry's. Her desk is clean, everything in place. I also notice a pin wall on one of the walls. A bunch of photos with her, Olivia and Avery, one with Aaron, tickets, Pinterest quotes...But also a picture of two people wearing matching sambas. I recognise her pink ones, and my dark blue ones. A receipt from Sweetheart Delights from our first time there. Tickets to a movie we went on a date to last week. Even the instructions from the LEGO sunflowers we built together on Monday.