Dark Days

Going Back

©JRF2016

I wrestle with the two walkers for what seemed like an eternity. I was keeping them only at arm's length and my strength was fading fast. If I couldn't get something to take out their brains and fast I was as good as dead. I hold them back as far as I can and bring a foot up to kick them back. I reach around for something, anything but come up short. The zombies are on me again and I am trying to push them back some more when one falls off to the side of me. I glance over at it lying motionless on the ground still holding back the other until it falls on top of me. I couldn't move with the dead weight on top of me. Then I feel it being rolled off of me and I look up into the blue eyes of Conner Dillon standing over me. He was grinning as he offers his hand to help me up. "Damn, sweet cheeks, even the creepers can't keep their hands off of you." He laughs, "I'm glad I found ya when I did, hate to see anything bad happen to you."

"Yeah, me too." I say hugging him.

"Reid's been worryin' his pretty little head to death over you," he tells me, "What are you runnin' from?" I shrug and look down at the ground while stirring up the dead leaves with my foot. "Okay, you don't wanna talk, that's fine. I ain't much good at talking anyway, that is unless I'm making ridiculous jokes that nobody finds funny." He nudges me but I only give him a small smirk, "Darrick and Reid are over there." He puts an arm around my shoulder and we walk toward Reid. My stomach was doing flips at the thought of talking to him. I had no reason to be nervous but I was. I had no idea how or what I was going to say to Reid when I see him again. "You sure you don't wanna talk about it darlin'?" Conner asks as he slows his pace a little. I sigh and lay my head on his shoulder as he gives mine a squeeze, "You let me lean on you so many times, you know I'm here for you too right?" I nod without looking at him. He sits us down on a fallen tree and hugs me tight. I can feel the tears welling up as I begin to spill my guts to him about hearing Johnny's voice.  He knows about my past with Johnny already but I still couldn't deal with Lucy, I can't bear to bring up Reid's ex-wife.

When I look up Reid and Darrick are standing in front of us. We stand up as Conner eases me over to Reid with a nod. He wraps me in his arms and kisses my forehead between my brows. I don't know if or how much he heard of what I had told Conner and he didn't say a word about it. "You ready to go home?" He asks softly as he rested his chin on top of my head and ran his hand up and down my back. I lay my head on his chest and nod. Charlie walks out from behind Darrick and hugs us both. "You came out after me too?" I half-heartedly chuckle. Charlie nods, "Of course, we love you." We walk back in complete silence, not one word from any of us was spoken.

As we walk in the front door I was greeted by Grace and her open arms wrapping around me. "Mommy," she squeals and Charlie laughs. "Don't ever leave like that again," Charlie whispers in my ear.

"I promise," I whisper back. "I'm really beat guys. I need to lie down for a little while." Reid nods as he follows me up the stairs. He stands in the doorway and watches me as I lie down on the bed and close my eyes. It feels good to be back in a soft, warm bed. I was almost asleep when I feel the bed shift and an arm slide over my stomach. I open my eyes for a second and find myself staring into Reid's baby blues. He presses his lips to mine and asks me, "Are you going to talk to me or do I need to get it from Conner?" Before I close my eyes again and fell asleep I whispered sleepily, "Tomorrow Reid."

"Tomorrow then," he said as he pulls me closer to him. I slept better than I had in days with no dreams, no visions, no voices.

I wake up in Reid's embrace. "Good morning," he said, "I don't want to rush you but I need to know if I did anything wrong. Is it me?" I shake my head and lay it back on his chest.  "You never went into detail about what happened between you and Lucy. What happened between you two? I know you were really upset about her death so I know you loved her." He lets out a loud sigh.

"Why so curious now?" I could tell he was trying to put this off. I shrug without looking at him.

"Lucy," I start, "I've been seeing her, hearing her voice, what I can only imagine is her voice. I guess technically it's my insecurities manifested into her voice.  At first I didn't know who she was but it was Lucy and she told me to stay away from her family." He hugs me tighter, "Tell me what happened with your relationship." He starts reluctantly but slowly opened up more as he continued talking. He told me that he loved her, still loves her, but that she had been seeing Tony before this all this went down. She had played him for months before he found out.  It was right after Charlie turned six that they had finally split.  She moved in with Tony. He told me how they were surviving with Tony for a while until he found out that they had kicked up their relationship again. Lucy got pregnant with Grace, he still isn't sure if she is his or Tony's and that still bothers him sometimes. He told me about Tony trying to kill him and how Lucy had moved into that town with him but came back to him right before Grace was born. She died giving birth to her.  His eyes were filling with tears and starting to stream down his face. I sat up and looked at him before wiping away his tears with my thumbs and then I kissed him. "I know it wasn't real, I know it was just my insecurities but I didn't know how to deal with her." We sat there in each other's arms for a minute before I spoke up and told him everything about my past and everything that was going on in my head. We spent the whole day up in that bedroom talking. We finally made it downstairs and had supper with the kids and then straight back upstairs. Reid lay me down on the bed and starts kissing my neck. He whispers against my skin, "I'm glad you're back, I love you." I hold on to him as I repeat his sentiment, "I love you too." I fall asleep again tonight in my blue eyed sheriff's arms and had another dreamless sleep filled night.