Dark Days

Hot to Cold to Steaming

©JRF2016

I've been trying to keep track of the days since we've been here and I've counted us at three weeks now and I've been extremely moody for most of these three weeks, I was mostly chalking my moodiness up to the whole Reid, Lisa thing.  I'm really betting on PMS since it's been three weeks here and I haven't started yet, but the more I think about, I don't really remember the last time I had a period even before we landed here.  One minute I'm mad and the next I'm bawling my eyes out.  I just can't figure it out.  I start to cry and before I have one teardrop fall I'm turning into a demon straight out of Hell.  Reid has been extra attentive since the whole Lisa incident and she's been keeping her distance since my little freak out on her.

       I was watching Grace play in the yard when Paul walks up.  The man gave me the creeps a little but I couldn't quite put a finger on why.  "Hey Rachel," he smiles, "I've been telling Reid he needs to bring the kids in for a checkup but he doesn't seem too worried.  Maybe you could swing by later with this little one and I'll look her over for you."  I give him a slight nod.  It was a good idea and kind of him to offer.  He continues walking to his office.  I look down at Grace as I contemplated taking her by, it couldn't hurt.  I pick her up and swing her around on my hip as I quickly walk down the street to catch up to him.  "Hey," I yell out to him and he turns around to look in my direction, "I guess she could use a checkup, is now okay?"  He smiles real big and shakes his head as he leads me inside.  Cathy comes in as he finishes checking Grace.  "There you are," she said staring at me, "Reid and I have been looking for you."

"Paul offered to look Gracie over and I accepted.  He just finished."

"She's a perfectly healthy little girl," Paul says still smiling.  I think for a minute before I speak up, with my emotions everywhere like they are maybe I should get a checkup too.  "Hey Cathy, do you mind watching Gracie for a little while?"  I didn't offer anything else but Cathy smiles and nods as she carries Grace out of the office. "Okay, but Reid really needs to see you, so as soon as your done here go find him. I promised I would get you for him." I nod and then turn to Paul. I wait until Cathy is completely out the door before I speak, "Do you mind checking me over too?  That's not putting you out is it?"  He shakes his head.

"Not at all," He starts his examination of me and I just spill my guts about what was going on with my emotions.  He listen intently as I go on and on.  "When was your last menstrual period?"  He ask as he continued his exam.

"You think it's just PMS?  I haven't had a period since we've been here.  Honestly, I can't really remember when the last one was."  I finally let that realization sink in and now my heart starts racing.  I couldn't be, could I?  I gawk at Paul as he smiles.

"You know the really cool thing about this place," he said turning his back to me a grabbing a machine and pulling it next to the bedside, "Solar power, I can actually run this medical equipment."  He pats the top of the machine, "I haven't had a chance yet to give this baby a spin."  He was still smiling as he handed me a gown as he instructed me to undress from the waist down.  I looked at him confused.  "It's still early yet, obviously, we have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."  I nod shyly as he slips out the door and I did as he said.  I was sitting on that exam table with the paper drape covering the lower half of my body when he reentered.  He pulls out the stirrups and had me slide down on the table as he pulls the wand of the machine from its holster on the side.  He squirts the jelly on the end of the wand which I notice has a condom on the end of it.  "This might be a little cool," he informs me as he begins to insert the thing inside of me and move it around.  Every few seconds he would tap on the keyboard and I start getting more anxious.  "Well," I finally ask him.  He pauses as he turns the screen toward me, "Well, I never thought I'd get to say this again."  I look at him with intensity; my anxiety was starting to get the better of me.  "Congratulations, it's a little peanut.  You're going to be a mommy again. You're about 8 weeks."  He point out on the screen and I can feel my heartbeat in my throat.  Tears start to well up in my eyes as pictures of Liam flash in my mind.