Maya - a Naruto Fanfic

44. He Lives In You

"Alright, I want you to stand right here." Kakashi positions me to his liking and then takes a step back, hands moving from my shoulders.

"What's so special about this spot?"

"We might be here a while and I don't want to sun getting in your eyes. It'll break your concentration."

"Oh."

"Close your eyes. Good. Now I want you to focus. Don't think, focus on your body. Everything you're feeling, inside, and outside. Don't worry about your breathing. Just focus."

"This would be easier if you weren't talking." I shoot him a frustrated look.

"Shut up and focus."

"Alright, fine!" I huff, and close my eyes again. At least now the commentary's gone. Okay, focus. Inside. Outside. Focus.

.
.
.

"I can't do this!" I cry and flap my arms helplessly.

"Congratulations, you lasted all of two minutes." Kakashi says dryly, and gives me an exasperated look.

"It would help if I knew what we were trying to do." I point out.

"I suppose. I'm trying to get you into a state of mind in which you can feel for chakra."

"Chakra?" I frown. I've heard of it before, but I've never really understood what it is.

"It's present in all living things." Kakashi tries to explain. And fails. Miserably.

"That explains nothing."

"You might know it as life force." Is there no solid definition for chakra in this world? I'm really starting to miss Google.

"Still not getting it."

"It's the source of all of a shinobi's power." He tries again, and I give up. It's something, I guess. Maybe like the spirit or whatever.

"Okay, question, what does it feel like?"

"It changes from person to person." The look on Kakashi's face tells me he knows exactly how unhelpful he's being right now.

"Ugh!" I groan and tip my head back.

"Mine feels solid." Sakura chimes in.

"Yours might feel similar, but it's more likely to feel different. Try again." He orders, and I sigh.

"Fine."

I close my eyes again and, this time with some direction, try to focus on my body. The way the wind brushes the fabric of my kimono and cold air over my skin, the heat of the sun on my face, the soft thumps of my heart, the twitch of my muscles, even the throbbing of my wounds. I focus on it all. Then -

"No! I lost it!" I yell. There had been a flicker of something, but in my excitement, my concentration had broken, and I lost it. Damn.

"Well, it's a start." Kakashi allows.

"You should expect to find it," Sakura advises, "then you won't get all excited and lose it. I was always losing it when I first started."

"Try again." Kakashi says, so I close my eyes and start all over.

We keep at it for hours, minutes of silence punctuated by frustrated yells when I inevitably lose it again. Sakura leaves part way through to accompany Tazuna to the bridge, and the sun is setting by the time Kakashi finally calls for a stop.

In the end, I'd managed to find my chakra, but not keep a hold of it.

"It's probably something like fire or water," Sakura tells me as we walk back, "maybe even air or lightning."

"What's with this element stuff?" I ask.

"You're chakra nature is specific to an element. Mine's earth. You can have more than one chakra nature, but never more than 2."

"I think I get it."

"It's pretty simple, once you get the hang of it. What did your chakra feel like?" Sakura asks me.

"Um..." I try to think back to the moments where I finally managed to keep my focus on it, "kind of... Intangible? Like you wouldn't really feel it if you put your hand in it." It's hard to explain the feeling in words.

"Hmm... That rules out water, and probably lightning too. Hey, I know!" She pulls a small square of paper out of her pocket.

"What's that?"

"It's chakra paper. You hold it and push your chakra through it and whatever happens to the paper indicates your chakra nature. We all did it in the academy when we first learned chakra control." She tells me excitedly. Nothing seems to bring her more joy than sharing her knowledge with others.

"Huh. So, uh, how do you move chakra?" I ask awkwardly. I've only just learned how to find it, forget trying to move it.

"Hmm..." Sakura chews on her lower lip for a moment, "it's like... It's like moulding clay," she says finally, "rather than forcing it, you kind of have to guide it up through you. Then you use hand-signs to turn it into the right form and direct it."

"I think I get it."

"Now let's eat!" She cries happily, clapping her hands together.

"Where's Naruto and Sasuke by the way?" She asks me as we step into the house.

"They stayed out in the clearing to train."

"Really? Will they be back in time for dinner?"

"Who knows. I wouldn't wait though." I'm about to walk into the kitchen when Sakura stops me and pulls me to the shadowed end of the corridor.

"Are you alright?" She asks me, her face serious.

"Why?" I ask slowly.

"I- you were- I heard you crying, last night, and you kept having to get up. You seem normal today, but- I mean, I already know that you're really strong, and even if you were hurt, you wouldn't show it. So I- I mean I feel like I, you know, like I have to ask, to make sure." She twists her hands in the hem of her shirt - it's starting to look like a nervous tic of hers.

"Thank you," I say with a small smile, "it's nice of you to think of me. I'm fine." She smiles back, still looking a little embarrassed.

"Who're you?!"

A/N: If you don't get the Lion King reference then I don't know what to tell you. I managed to get really far ahead with chapters so hopefully (hopefully) we'll have SOME consistency but I am mid-exam period and going through some shit so be prepared for bumps in my schedule.
Ta-ta~