Maya - a Naruto Fanfic

73. Back on Track

I stalk out of the door and smack right into someone standing on the front step. My nose smacks right into their sternum, and I make a sound of pain and frustration. God, can't I even leave the house?!

"Sorry about that," I know that voice. That voice is Kakashi. Why is Kakashi here?

"I'm sorry, do I know you? You look familiar, like someone I knew once," I say, injecting as much snark into my voice as I can. You don't just stop visiting and then show up at my front door uninvited - well, Masumi and Tsuyoshi's front door.

"Very funny. Can I come in?"

"I don't know. Why are you here?" I frown up at him suspiciously, still rubbing my sore nose. I swear if he says anything that makes my head spin I'm kicking him out.

"To talk," cryptic asshole.

"Oh, are you now?" I cross my arms and do my best impression of a brick wall. Kakashi sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

"Can we please do this inside?" He sounds tired and hassled, and there's a dark bag under his eye and-

"Ugh, fine," I get out of the way and stomp back into the kitchen, well and truly in A Mood.

"You seem... tense," Kakashi says as he follows me through, the door clicking shut behind him.

"No, really?" I snap and okay, maybe I'm being unfair, but I'm really sick of being kept off-balance by this damn shinobi.

"Maybe I should make some tea," fury builds in my chest. Tea... might actually be a good idea. I deflate and sink down onto a stool.

"Tea would be nice," I sigh and drop my head onto my arms. Being angry is exhausting, especially when he's not giving me much to be angry about.

"Something soothing," he says, and I make a little noise of confirmation.

Kakashi moves about the Sarutobi's kitchen like he's been here a thousand times. Maybe he has, he does know Masumi and Tsuyoshi pretty well after all. How much do I really know about him, anyway? About any of them? He's kidnapped me, and saved my life, and I don't know the first thing about him.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Tea first, then we'll talk."

"Ugh."

The kettle boils. I watch the steam twist and twirl as he fills two mugs and pushes one towards me. It smells like chamomile. Kakashi sits on the stool beside me and stares into his cup, the tiniest frown creasing between his eyebrows.

"You're angry," he says finally.

"No, where on earth would you get that idea?" I maybe lay it on a little thick, but Kakashi deserves a bit of sarcasm at the moment. Considering.

"Will you let me explain?" He looks up at me, and there's something tired in his eyes. Weary. I do not take pity on him.

"I assume that was what you came here to do anyway." I hunch a little further over my tea, leaning forward to look out the window.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, I will let you explain."

"You terrify me." Excuse me?

"Excuse me? I, a defenceless child, terrify you, a trained killer?"

"Yes."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. You terrify me because you're defenceless, and fearless, and more than a little stupid."

"That isn't helping your case."

"Do you have any idea just how much danger you put yourself in? Of how much danger we have put you in? You, a child with no nina training, and no means of defending yourself."

"Of course I do! You put Naruto and Sakura in that same danger!"

"They have had years of training, learning to fight. They carry weapons, they know jutsu, they can defend themselves. You can't. And you've been sent out on missions anyway. You've almost died three times already, you've actually died."

"Where are you going with this? What's your point? Are you trying to scare me? Because I'm scared! Do you want me to leave? Is that it? I can't leave! I have literally nowhere else to go!" I have a vice grip on my mug, my hands shaking slightly. I'm not looking at Kakashi, I can't right now.

"I know, that's... not what I'm trying to say. I can't protect you, Maya. That's why I put you with Asuma. That's why I've distanced you from Squad 7."

"They're shinobi too."

"But they're not like Squad 7. There are so many things about this world that you still don't know."

"Of course there are! I know nothing about this world! I can barely read the language, let alone understand the politics or culture or why you train children to be soldiers. I am completely lost here, and alone, and you were supposed to help but you just left me when I needed you!" There are tears dripping into my tea. I grit my teeth against them but they keep coming, and soon I'm shaking with the effort.

Kakashi doesn't say anything for a moment. I'm glad, but I hate him for it too. Then a hand comes down gently on the top of my head, thumb stroking across my hair, and I sob, pressing both hands hard over my mouth.

"I'm sorry." And that's all it takes. I start wailing and bury my face in his shoulder as I scream out all the pain and frustration and loneliness I've felt since I first arrived here. Kakashi keeps petting my hair, wrapping his arm around my back and holding me, a little stiff, but I appreciate the effort more than I could ever tell him.

I don't know how long we sit like that, awkwardly twisted towards each other on our separate stools, my fingers twisted in the front of his shirt as I cry, one of his hands petting my hair, the other my back, but it's long enough that my muscles start to shiver and weaken from the angle.

I still don't pull away. Not yet. For the moment, I want to be childish, and selfish, and cry loudly and unashamedly.

I want to be thirteen, for the first time in too long.

A/N: how long has it been since I last updated? Oh well. Even though I haven't been replying to all comments, I really appreciate all of you who take the time to read, vote, and/or comment! You're all so amazing, and thank you so much for your patience in waiting for this well overdue update.

Ta-ta~