Storm and Silence Fanfic

Assistance Isn't Always Good

(caution: this part has some dark stuff concerning abortion. It might be hard for some people to read.)

~6 October 1840~

I'm sitting on a bench in Hyde park, in a remote corner under the shade of a big tree. Here, no one will bother me. It's too loud at home. My aunt, were she to find me, would probably make me come here anyway to search for potential suitors, and I have no idea what I'd say to her if she pushed me too hard.

    Who am I anymore? I was once this strong woman with no fears about anything. Then came in Mr Rikkard Ambrose and he broke me down and made me crave him, want him...need him. And now he's gone. He wants nothing to do with me. And our baby.

    What am I going to do? Women like me aren't accepted among society. Not that I ever cared about society, but I never wanted to be an outcast, forced away from everyone. I couldn't care less about my reputation, but if the society catches wind of what's happened to me, Ella will be affected. I can't hurt the only person who has ever loved me and cared for me.

    Who can I even tell about this? If I tell Aunt Brank, she'll have me either out on the streets faster than I can say "pregnant", or she'll keep me locked at home until she can find the most hideously repulsive old man for me to marry, one who won't care that my virtue is ruined.

    I can't tell Ella. She would die from the shock. She would come back from the dead just to tell me that she knew that gentleman that I had my rendezvous with was no good for me. Then she'd die from shock all over again. Even though she's the only person in this world I love and trust, I can't let her know.

    Is that really true Lilly? My inner voice questions. You sure you don't love  and trust someone else?

    "Shut up." I growl at myself. I just need to forget him.

    "I haven't even said anything." A cool voice replies over my shoulder.

    I whirl around, shocked. He came for me. He looked for me. He realized he made a mistake and he's come back!

    "M-Mr Ambrose, sir. What are you doing here?"

    "Come." He commands as if that answers my question. I comply immediately, getting up and coming around the other side of the bench. Lilly, you're a feminist. You don't have to conform to the whims of this self-righteous, chauvinist pig.

    Well perhaps this self-righteous, chauvinist pig has an answer to our little problem. Spiting him and fighting him all the way isn't going to make him more inclined to help us.

    I keep my mouth shut as I follow him. We walk, well, he marches, briskly down the street. It takes us about fifteen minutes of silence until we get to one of the seedier areas of London.

    "Sir, what are we doing here?" I ask.

    Would it shock you if I said he didn't answer?

    "Mr Ambrose, what is this place?" We walk into a smelly alley, behind a building that read "clinic" on a faded piece of wood that was falling down. There's garbage strewn all over and suspicious odorous liquids lay splashed on the ground and walls. Mr Ambrose opens a door and walks through, not even bothering to hold it open for me.

    That's okay. You don't need men to open doors for you. You're a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man to complete her.

    I open it and walk inside. Inside it smells no better than in the alley. There are hardly any lights. Hesitantly, I walk down the hall, following the sound of Mr Ambrose's footsteps. Rooms and doors line the hall on either side of me. Inside, I see dingy windows so covered with grime you can't see out of them. The little rooms make the place look like a doctor's office, with the small bed and chair. The only thing missing is the cleanliness and light.

    "Mr Ambrose, I'm not sick. I don't need a doctor." I tell him when I catch up to him. He walked across the entire building and was talking to a man at the front desk.

    This desk wasn't in any better shape than the whole building was in. Food scraps littered the ledge, and a stained notebook was propped open in front of him.

    "Miss Linton, I presume?" The man asks, looking at me. I nod. "Please follow me."

    "No, I won't. Mr Ambrose, what's going on? What is this place?"

    "This is a place that will...get rid of our little problem."

    I don't understand what he means until I see the man reach into a drawer and pull out a bag of sharp medical equipment.

    "NO!" I shout. "No, I won't let you do this. Anything would be better than this. Please, I'll never bother you again."

    "Miss Linton, please don't make a fuss. It isn't that big of a deal." The man tells me. He tries to put his hand on me, but I noticed the dirt and..is that dry blood?

    I scream and try to run out the door, but Mr Ambrose grabs my arms and forces them behind my back.

    "Do not make this any harder on yourself, Mr Linton. It will be over before you know it. Then we both my go back to our lives before we met each other."

Before...he doesn't want me to work for him again. After he makes me do this horrible thing he doesn't even want to associate with me.

    "But sir...our baby..." Tears stream down my face but I can't bring myself to care.

    He meets my eyes for half a second.

    "This is no baby of mine."

    I search his face for a sign he's joking. But he's told me many times that he doesn't joke. I start to sob as the man, the doctor, starts walking to another room. Mr Ambrose follows him, dragging me behind. I struggle and try to get away but his grip is too strong. I can't get him off me.

We walk past a room with the door closed and I hear a lady scream bloody murder. My sobs only intensify. If I hadn't been squirming so much I might have noticed Mr Ambrose hesitate by the door. I might have noticed the way he looked at me, but I didn't. I just kept crying and muttering about my baby.

We get into the room and Mr Ambrose sets me on the bed. I try to run out but the doctor locks the door, planting himself in front of it.

    "Please," I try, turning to face Mr Ambrose. The doctor grabs my arm and pinches me.

"Ouch." I protest, pulling my arm back. The room gets fuzzy. I see me Ambrose look at me in concern. That guy must have drugged me. Mr Ambrose doesn't care. Especially about me. His face doesn't move from the one position it was carved out of it's granite block.

    The edges of my vision go dark but before it does I see him hovering above me. I feel him pick me up and then I feel nothing.

*

Sorry this is so dark. I promise the rest of the book isn't like this. I hope you enjoy the rest of it. :) 

~Hamilfan123987