God's love

Doubts

I prayed and I pray.

Three months from now, I'll be taking the licensure exam for my course. I've been praying to God for guidance and wisdom not only on the day I take the exam but for my preparations before it as well. For a long time, God revealed to me that He'll allow me to pass the boards and He paved the way well. The thing is, I know I will pass it. And yet, there are days when I doubt it.

I've always struggled with myself because despite knowing all of God's provision, I still experience setbacks and I find myself thinking I would fail my exams. But I got no time for that. Despite me being doubtful and unfaithful, He is the opposite, both sure and faithful. This God Who is so powerful and sovereign, watches over the lowly me, what can go wrong? what can go against? Even if I fall in my lowest point like how I am breaking down now, He is holding me. He is my strength. Even when I lose sight of how beautiful are His plans for me, He will surely carry it out, with me being appreciative or not. My God is so great and yet He looks at me like I'm the most precious diamond in He owns. Thank You Lord.

I am currently reviewing for my exams and I feel really pressured because it seems like I'm falling behind and I'm losing confidence in my abilities. Maybe today, God's message for me is to have confidence in Him. He will help me study and He will teach me stuff. Lord, I am desperate and I am broken. I feel like I'm already losing in this battle. But I do know Lord, that You are watching over me and smiling as I go through all these hardships because someday I'll thank You because this experience taught me to lean on You. Everyone is so much better than me and smarter than me, but I have a God that is not bound by time and can do the impossible. 

You told me Lord I could ask great things from You, so I will. Lord, allow me to pass my boards exams and if possible, allow me to be in the top 10 as well. Not my will but Yours be done, Oh Lord. I know You will give me this gift because You are faithful to Your promises. Someday, I'll be a witness on how You changed my life when all else failed. For I have come to believe Lord that if You put me to it, You will put me through it.