God's love

safe place

Here I am once again Lord, sitting before the Eucharist in the prayer room which is the closest thing to my safe place.

Years ago, I was here, crying and so devastated. Buried with anxiety and depression, I thought of ending my life then. I never knew I could see things differently as the world looked gloomy and hopeless. Years later, in the same place, I'm still broken and helpless but I'm better and hopeful. Things never got easy and in fact, they proved to be much harder but all these taught me that I could do it and I could endure because You are here Father. All throughout You have been here, in whenever phase I am and no matter who I am with. I was going through something so far from what I'm going through now, but You are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and I'm grateful.

I've been feeling so unsettled Lord and I don't know where I stand. Or maybe I know where I stand because he placed me there but I'm hating on myself because I keep wanting to take a step forward. All my life I thought that maybe if I took risks, things would've been so different but even now, the results stay the same. I'm just letting You lead me Lord because I don't know where all this is going I'm confused. Save me and help me through.

In Jesus' Name. Amen.