Falling Out of Time

Carter | Say Something

Say Something

Carter fiddled with the radio for the millionth time since they left.

He had no idea what kind of music she liked to listen to, something that coated him in a layer of bitterness. If he had it his way, he'd know all of her favorite songs. They'd be cued up on a playlist and blasting through the windows as he drove her to school.

But that was in an alternate reality. Unfortunately, he was stuck in this one.

Adjusting his rearview mirror, he used the opportunity to glance at her again. Amber wasn't helping him choose the station. In fact, she hadn't said a word since she got in the car. Even now, her body was scrunched against her door, as if she didn't want to be physically near him. She wasn't trying to hide how she felt about their new carpool, and he knew better than to not take it personally.

Say something, he chided himself. Wasn't that the whole point of this? He racked his brain for any topic of conversation, but they all felt wrong. He didn't remember it being so hard to talk to her. Noise from the passenger side caught his attention; Amber was messing with the window crank, trying to roll it down.

Carter winced, "It doesn't work. Michael didn't tell me before he left for school."

"Excellent," she muttered under her breath. He waited to see if she'd complain further, but she fell quiet.

He cleared his throat. "Do you want me to put mine down?"

A full beat passed before she answered. "Do what you want, Carter."

Well, what was he supposed to do with that?

He played it safe and cranked his down, letting fresh air filter through the truck's cabin. Carter heard her audibly inhale, and he questioned if he had gone overboard with the cologne. Something told him yes.

Do what you want, Carter. He considered her answer seriously. What did he want? Tons of ideas came to mind, especially in regards to her. A particular one consisting of pulling the car over and kissing her against the broken window seemed especially appealing. Of course, he doubted she'd feel the same.

But what Carter wanted more than anything — yes, even that — was to tell her. To wipe away the past and start over. He imagined how it would feel to explain everything; he'd lived with the secret for so long that he could barely remember life before it.

He wouldn't even know where to begin.

Mark and I had a fight, but she knew that already, and it barely scratched the surface of what happened that day.

I did something wrong, but did he? As he got older, Carter started to question that more and more. He was a kid then, too young to understand what they went through. At sixteen, that wasn't the case anymore.

It wasn't your fault, and truthfully, it wasn't. But she stood at its core, and that alone kept his mouth shut. Telling her meant shattering the image of the one person she loved most, and Carter couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't expose Mark like that. Not again.

As he turned into the underclassmen lot, Carter knew their time together was almost up. Cautiously, he let his eyes wander over to her profile. She wore her hair up today, a few damp curls still framing her face. Her lips were pursed in agitation, drawing his attention straight to her mouth. It wasn't a far drop from there down to the neckline of her shirt. It was low-cut, and he could just make out the swell of her cleavage poking out above the fabric.

I should've pulled the damn car over.

Instead, he pulled into a spot near the entrance. No sooner had he thrown the car in park that Amber snatched up her bag and hopped out, slamming the door behind her. She walked briskly towards the front steps and didn't look back at him once.

As he watched her go, he thought over their fifteen minute car ride and came to a single conclusion: there would be a next time. The hang out at Chloe's last year hadn't been enough, and neither was today. He needed more time, both to work up his nerve and just to be near her.

As Carter slid out of the driver's seat and shouldered his bag, he made a mental note.

Ask Mom to call again about driving her tomorrow.