Falling Out of Time

Mark | Please Don't Leave

Please Don't Leave

Mark kept his hand over Amber's mouth as he walked them both into her room. She already tried calling for Ben when they came up the stairs, and he didn't want to risk her waking anyone up. Once he was sure the door was closed behind him, he felt safe letting her go.

"Your hand tastes like a battery," she slurred, stumbling away from him.

He wiped it against his jeans. "No one told you to lick it."

Mark didn't think he'd ever seen her so drunk. Amber could barely stand in her low heels, and more than once she had to grip her bed frame to avoid falling over.

"Yeah, well no one told you to bring me home," she shot back. "I wasn't done dancing."

"Well, your third fall told me otherwise," he muttered, grazing past her to grab some pajamas. "Besides, Cameron was basically begging us all to leave. It's nearly three."

"Really?" She sounded genuinely surprised. When he glanced over his shoulder, he found her dancing lazily around the room. "Doesn't feel later than twelve to me."

"C'mon, put these on." Mark threw her clothes on the edge of the bed, then dropped heavily next to them. Leaning over his lap, he squeezed his eyes shut to fight off his growing migraine. His sinuses were on fire, and not for the first time tonight, he regretted his actions. Why had he leaned over that damn sink?

Sure, it hurt less than the guys had warned, but Mark's tolerance for pain was higher than most. That tolerance had been tested only hours before, when his mother went off on one of her violent rampages. The twins were thankfully out for a play date, and Ronnie stuck to their room most days anyway, so Mark was the only one around to deal with her — which was always his preference.

But Mark told himself the crack of her hand had nothing to do with his lapse in judgment at the party. No, his choices tonight were entirely his own and had nothing to do with his mother.

Part of him almost believed it.

His anxiety spiked at the sound of his phone. Fishing it from his pocket, he wasn't surprised by the name on the screen. As much as he didn't want to read it, ignoring Darren's text wouldn't make tonight go away.

Darren: Tlk soon.

He was already in too deep.

Something soft brushed Mark's arm, making him jump. His heart rate settled when he looked up and found Vendetta. The cat was snuggling against the pajamas next to him — pajamas Amber was supposed to be wearing.

Mark found her frozen in the center of her room, still in the clothes from the party. She stared out towards the house next door, something Mark avoided at all costs.

"What's taking so long?" He snapped his phone shut. "And if you say it's because you don't like the shirt, just pick a different one, okay? It really doesn't matter, but please just get dre—"

"I fucked Tyler Hampton."

"—ssed," he finished, the word dying in the silence that fell between them. Any lingering irritation was immediately replaced by pure shock.

"Tyler. The guy in the band?" It's all Mark really knew about him, other than his recent employment at The Pink Whale. He hoped he wouldn't have to hear Tyler's side of the story the next time they worked together.

"It's not that big of a deal," Amber insisted, but her face gave it away.

"Bullshit." Sex wasn't something they talked about, but Mark knew everyone's first time was significant, including Amber's.

"Fuck off," she muttered, dropping her gaze to her feet.

He ignored her and asked the most important question. "Were you this drunk?"

Mark would kill him if he had taken advantage, but Amber shook her head. "More like Tyler drove me to drink."

"That good, huh?" Mark cringed when she didn't crack a smile — he really wished Chloe were here for this. But he was all Amber had, so he'd do his best. "Then why would you—"

"It's a new year," Amber cut in quickly. "Our last one, too. Figured I might as well get it over with, new me and all that shit," her gaze flickered back to the window, "Thought it was about time I moved on."

Mark's heart turned to stone in his chest. "Moved on from what?"

Amber didn't have the strength to answer.

She just started crying.

Subtly at first, with just a few tears streaming silently down her face. Then, they were choking her. Full, anguished sobs that wracked her whole body, sending her staggering in her heels.

Mark barely reached her in time. "Hey, hey, what's the matter? You're ok."

They sank to the floor, Amber curling up in his lap. It's a position he'd been in before — just, with someone else. His mother's bad days always ended at some point; that point usually looked like this.

She's just drunk, he told himself. She won't even remember this tomorrow.

"He's...never...gonna care," Amber choked out, every syllable laced with pain. "So why... the fuck... can't I stop?"

She buried her face into his neck, muffling the last of her sobs. Mark could only stare out the window, shame churning painfully in his chest. Deep down, Mark always knew she never really let him go. Even after what Carter had done.

What Mark had done.

"You tried to have me taken away!"

He could still remember it so vividly, as if it were just yesterday. Every biting word he'd said. Carter's face as each one hit.

"It was always about her! You used me to get Amber!"

It didn't matter what Carter said: It's not true; you need help; I am your friend. Mark had heard none of it; fear had shut down all logical thoughts by then. When he finally found him in that abandoned old field, Mark had one goal. To rid Carter from his life — from her life — for good.

"Stay away from her, or I'll tell her what you did!"

In the end, Mark got what he wanted. Carter stayed away... and these were the consequences.

"Don't leave me," Amber whispered against his neck, her tears calming to soft whimpers.

Please don't leave. He'd heard that before, too. It was the sign his mom's bad day was truly over. She'd say it over and over again before slipping into unconsciousness. Please don't leave, not like his father.

Not like Carter.

"I won't," Mark promised, swallowing down his guilt. Not for what he had done to Carter, but for what he was doing to Amber now. Because even though he had the power to end her pain with the truth, he wouldn't. He couldn't. The same fear that motivated him as a child was just as strong now, if not more.

Mark couldn't risk losing Amber over this. He needed her now more than ever.