Unmasked (Depressed Bakugou x Todoroki)

Bathroom

TRIGGER WARNING
Cutting

Bakugou's POV

I stared off staring into space again. And I thought dangerous thoughts.. again. About him. About the league. I've lost so much sleep over it I could doze off now. In fact I was dozing off.. Until the lunch bell rang.

I stayed in the classroom, while everyone else took their leave. When they were all long gone, I finally left the room to silently walk to the bathrooms. My stomach growled of hunger but I just couldn't eat. I hadn't eaten in days and I didn't want to anytime soon. When I got to the bathroom I made sure no one was there.

I pulled out my small knife and rolled up my long sleeves, revealing my forearms and the healing cuts that were planted there shortly.

I sliced the knife against my skin. Feeling the cold of the steel appliance I watched the blood fall from my arm and into the cold sink. I cried. I cried because I deserved it. For bullying Deku those years. For being an obnoxious person. A villain some would say.

I took out my phone and checked the time. Lunch was almost over. The time has gotten away from my again. I cleaned myself quickly. My arm stung as I washed off the blood and pulled down my sleeves. Leaving just as the bell rang.

When everyone arrived, Aizawa just told us to do anything as he got in his sleeping bag and fell asleep. I leaned my head on rye desk as everyone formed their cliques. I wished I had friends. I have Kirishima, Ashido, Denki, and Sero but they're probably faking. They don't really care. I'm a burden to them. They were probably talking about how awful I am now. I tried to push the thought aside.

As I sat I felt a pair of eyes on me. I freeze. Not daring to look up. All I can imagine is a worst case scenario. Who could possibly be watching me. Is it someone who is in the classroom? Someone from out the window? Did Toga somehow sneak in. My breathing gets heavier as my thoughts race.

Kirishima notices as he speaks. "Hey Bakubro you alright?" He didn't mean it. Anyone could've noticed. He wasn't worried. Fuck.

"I'm fine." I tell him as my breathing gets heavier. I start to feel sick.

"Are you sure bro?" I nod.

"Stop asking stupid questions." I try to yell. That usual fire in my voice is gone. Good. I hated that fire. But I can't let them know I'm weak. I needed to leave. I feel myself getting sicker. Leave. I told myself. Leave.

I stood up, quickly. Trying not to be so quick someone would notice. I walked out the classroom. I could feel everyone's eyes watching me. It hurt. Don't look at me.

I head to the bathroom. What feels like my only escape. Upon arrival I immediately ducked into a stall and closing the door. I fell to my knees and hurled in the toilet. I threw up for who knows how long. Because I hadn't eaten. My breathing was still heavy. Was someone watching me? Or was it my mind playing tricks on me.

When I finally stopped thinking and my breathing slowed, I hear the bathroom door open.

Oh no. I thought. Please don't let it be anyone I know.

"Bakugou? Are you in here?" A familiar voice. Who was it that again? Definitely not Kirishima.

"I saw you run in here." He said.

Todoroki. What was he doing coming to check on me. Why did he, of all people care. We are supposed to be rivals. He's just faking nice to get attention. To be seen a hero. Unlike me..

"I'm fine, Icyhot. So fuck off." I replied.

"You don't seem fine." He says in a bland tone.

"I said fuck off! I'm fine."

There was silence. Uncomfortable silence. I stood up and flushed the vomit filled toilet and walked out the stall. Todoroki was still there.

"What are you still doing here." I try to shout.

"I was just making sure you were alright."

"How many times do I gotta tell you I'm fine!"

Todoroki shrugs and leaves the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror.

I'm pathetic. Why did he have to be there? Why did anyone have to be here!? He just wants attention. Look at me! I'm making excuses. What if he actually does care?

No he doesn't. No one would care. Tears start to roll down face. Sadness, for a split second becomes anger. I hate myself. My anger. I punch the mirror hanging on the wall of the bathroom. It shatters into pieces and falls onto the floor. My hand bloody from the shards.

I sob. I have to punish myself later. For letting him see me so weak and pathetic. For destroying school property. For making damn Icyhot worry. Why would he even worry about me?

I sniff and wipe away the various liquids on my face. I clean the fresh blood off my knuckles and wipe my tears, leaving the bathroom and walking back into class. I still stand at the door when I catch everyone's eyes on me.

I gather up all the anger I can and shout, "what are you extras staring at!" They all turn back to talk amongst themselves. I sit down in my seat and lay my head down again.

—

The bell rings and I leave instantly I grab my stuff and walk out of the classroom, waiting on no one and making sure no one can come talk to me.

I hurry and run home before it's dark. I didn't want anything else to happen. I didn't want to get taken by the league again. I get home and my parents aren't there, as usual. They're usually out. I close and make sure the door is locked. Throwing my backpack on the couch I run upstairs and slam my door shut.

I'm safe. I tell myself. Safe. I slip onto my bed and into an uneasy sleep after days of none. And of course I get a nightmare.

I'm in the UA bathroom. I don't recognize what IK doing at first until the sound of blood falling on the floor echoes throughout the room. The door bursts open and the league shows up. My knife and the blood disappear as they approach me.

"You thought you were safe. Think again~" Toga giggles. She has the knife. I close my eyes in fear as she smashes my face. When they open she's gone. Hidden in a crowd of people. The people being my classmates, who laugh at me for being weak and pathetic and doing this to myself. Everything fades black and all I can hear are their voices taunting me. . .

I wake up with sweaty palms and heavy breathing. I'm fine. I am safe. Right? I check the time. It's 6am. I laugh. If anyone was there I'd probably look delusional. It's just incredible how dreams can feel like an eternity when in reality it was only hours.

I get out of bed and get ready for the day, making sure my long sleeved uniform covers my cuts.

One things for sure, I'm not going to the bathroom today.

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Word count: 1221

Thanks for reading this first chapter!