Lullabies

twenty two

I was laying down on my bed, Malibu on top of me, when my phone chimed.

Ashton: When do I come pick you up?
Sent 9:35 p.m.

After the 'date' Ashton and I had at the rooftop, he'd dropped me home, promising to come pick me up at night.

The thing is, I didn't want to go.

Ashton's very affectionate display had left me a little stunned. It wasn't like he was incapable affection; it was just that I was little stunted when it came to it. I just hadn't had the time to process what happened.

So, I did what came naturally, I ignored his text, shut off my phone and fell into restless slumber.

***

"Dude, Ashton looks especially fucked up today," Emily whispered, joining me as I waited by her silver car, Charlie coming to stand on the other side of me. Ashton was standing on the other side of the parking space, leaning against his bike while surrounded by a bunch of people. They were all talking, while Ashton just sulked in the center.

When I woke up, I had five texts from Ashton, ranging from bad to worse.

Ashton: Alexis?
Sent 10:50 p.m.

Ashton: Ok cool, thanks for the warning.
Sent 11:15 p.m.

Ashton: yo this shit cool, I'm cool without you.
Sent 2:05 a.m.

Ashton: sup I'm bored
Sent 3:20 a.m.

Ashton: good night.
Sent 4:56 a.m.

I didn't know how to deal with those emotions so I decided to talk to him face to face.

Ashton and I only had English together, but when he came to class he sat in the farthest corner and didn't even look up once so it was blatantly clear he was ignoring me.

He looked extremely rugged, his jeans were still dirty from last night and his leather jacket only added to his roughness. His hair was unkempt and his eyes hooded.

He didn't want to be fucked with, and everybody parted like the Red Sea for the demon child.

It was clear his mood had only worsened so by the end of the day, any chance I had of talking to him had been ruined.

So I had accepted my defeat and spent day the day irritated and miserable.

I shrugged, waiting for her to unlock the car so I could get in and just go back home.

"Ok Alexis, what's wrong? You've been messed up all day."

"Nothing Em, I just wanna go home. I didn't sleep well."

Emily looked at me for a while longer, clearly not believing me but she didn't push the subject further so I was thankful.

I unknowingly kept on sneaking glances at Ashton, but this time when I looked up at him, we locked eyes.

He was staring straight at me, before saying something to the group so that they quietly dispersed and he got on his motorbike.

He revved it, earning a few glances from the students near him before taking a U-turn and waiting right in front of me. His bike was still on, and he wordlessly shoved his sole helmet into my hands.

"What do you want?" Charlie seemed a little pissed off.

I hadn't noticed that Emily had already unlocked her car, and was putting her bag in the backseat.

"Just come with me," Ashton ignored Charlie, his eyes not once moving from mine.

My brain had officially transitioned into panic mode. I couldn't ignore Ashton because that would make an even bigger scene, but if I left Charlie and Emily alone, I'd have to actually talk about this situation later tonight.

I decided to make the rational choice.

"I'm sorry guys, but I'll see later."

Charlie frankly looked a little annoyed, but Emily had a knowing smile on her face.

"Text me when you get home Lexie, be safe," was all she said.

I quietly got on Ashton's bike, placing his helmet on top of my head.

"You're safe," he whispered to me, before driving off.

***

We ended up at Linda's Ice Cream. Ashton ordered another monstrous combination of flavors while I stuck to my trusted chocolate. We hadn't talked to each other on the whole ride here, but the silence wasn't necessarily uncomfortable.

"I was drunk, I'm sorry for spamming you last night. That wasn't my intention."

That wasn't how I expected this conversation to start.

Ashton was looking at me now, picking at his ice cream.

"Why were you drunk on a Monday night?"

Good job Alexis, that's exactly what you had to say. Please, do not apologize for ignoring the boy after he pretty much organized one of the most fun dates you've ever been on.

Ashton looked a little taken aback, "I had to sleep."

I'm a fucking idiot.

This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to go.

"That wasn't what I meant to say. I'm sorry for not coming over last night. That wasn't my intention. I just panicked and I'm just really shitty when it comes to dealing with emotions and I did what I did best, I ignored it. Yesterday evening was really nice and I just got really overwhelmed after pretty much one of the best evenings I've had in a while. I'm sorry, I fucked up, it's not on you."

A small smile slowly spread on Ashton's lips once I was done.

"One of the best evenings you've had?"

"That is not what you were supposed to focus on Ash," I was absolutely done with this boy.

His smirk had now turned into a full-blown grin, his blue eyes sparkling. How do eyes sparkle? I'm so confused.

"No, tell me more about this evening. Is there anything that can be done to make it better? Even though it seems to rank pretty high in your list of evenings. I'm all for constructive criticism."

I stuck my tongue out at him before shoving a big spoonful of ice cream to stop myself from saying something even more embarrassing, and looking down into my cup to hide the blush I was sure had spread across my cheek.

"If it helps, it was one of the best evenings I've had in a while too."

I felt a fresh wave of warmth spread through me at his husky tone, and prayed to the ground to swallow me up whole.

****

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