Make Me Softer // Billie Eilish

Chapter 14

tw// mention of abuse

Billie's POV

-1 week earlier-

"Come here" I look at him daringly and point to my bed, not letting him say a word before dragging the rest of his body inside.

"Can you chill?" Seven looks at me like I am crazy and I can feel my stomach turning, making me even more mad.

"Why do you have to be such a dick to her Brandon?" he sighs and I raise my finger, sitting across from him. "I am getting so tired of it"

"And so what, huh? I don't care Billie, you are the one who likes her so it's on you" He shrugs, the sounds of his teeth smacking gum filling the room.

I fight the urge to smack the dumbness out of him but contain myself, standing up. "Could you at least pretend to care about my happiness? If you are shitty to her, I will be shitty to you. Not my fault you don't get any"

He looks at me, his brown eyes darker than usual. "I did get some, you. Now this random ass girl, that I have to feed by the way, decides to fuck you and now you're all over her"

I laugh cause it's certainly not appropriate to cry right now and seem like the biggest baby on this earth. But that hurt.

Memories of his hands all over me cloud my thoughts and I almost gag, gripping my legs unconsciously. "Get out. You're disgusting" I whisper, not daring to look up.

He gets up but walks closer to me and I struggle to swallow, heart pounding against my chest. My anxiety heightens when his knees touch mine and I try to walk towards the door, wanting him out as soon as possible.

"Are you seriously scared of me?" He asks, scoffing. "Billie you know me"

I do, and he is a manipulative liar. I reach the doorknob but his hand wraps around mine, stopping me. I put my arm on his chest, fading bruises making an appearance.

He looks down and smiles, admiring them. My lip wobbles as he caresses them with pride, eyes now shining. "Come on Billie. See for yourself, they're beautiful"

"Do you seriously think I like it?" He senses the disbelief in my voice and his lips turn into a straight line, grabbing my chin roughly.

"It seemed like it the other night" I feel my mind spinning when he says that, closing my eyes tightly.

"Brandon I- you need to get out" I raise my voice and  try to get out of his grip but he turns my head the other way. "Please stop being so aggressive"

"At least admit that you like it"

I shake my head, preparing my leg to kick him if I need to. I am not doing this again. "I get high every single time so no"

"Maybe because you're an addict"

I open my mouth to contradict him but he's partially right so I shove him angrily, slapping his arm. I open the door and push him, breathing heavily. "You made me an addict. Now get the hell out"

"Want me to get you some for tonight? You're going to need-" I slam the door against his face and quickly lock it, sitting on the floor. I cover my face and my back shakes when he slams his fists against it but I ignore it.

More memories flood my brain and I smack my head against my hands, squeezing. I can't make it stop and I so wish Fin was here, he always knew exactly what to do to calm me down. My neck starts to itch so I scratch it vigorously, not really caring about the bruising I'd have to deal with later.