Make Me Softer // Billie Eilish

Chapter 6

Kai's POV

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

42, 43, 44, 45, 46...

I count the seconds anxiously as I watch the clock in front of me tick in what seems to be slow motion, the sound deafening to my ears. I grip the coffee mug tightly with one hand as the steam warms up my face and pick the skin around my fingernails with the other; millions of thoughts running through my head.

"Stop that" warm hands wrap around mine and I look up, heart beating rapidly when I come across those blue eyes.

I don't know exactly what it was, but yesterday it felt like Billie and I had an instant connection from the moment she let me in her room. We clicked almost immediately; and after the 'book situation' we managed to dive into some pretty deep topics.

I decided to tell her about my past a little bit, when I was still living with my parents and they trusted me enough to let me wander the streets alone even though I'd sneak out almost every day and end up at some wild party with Jaden, too drunk to even care. She looked so interested in what I was saying that she even convinced me to tell her about that one time when both of us woke up so disoriented that we'd forgotten where we were, which led us to take a bus to the other side of town and still ended up in the middle of nowhere.

I don't think she'll ever let that go now and I'll be mocked forever but I don't care as long as my dumb anecdotes make her smile and laugh so genuinely like yesterday. She has such a pretty smile and I hope she makes use of it more often.

Much to my surprise, as we were sat on the floor next to each other she pulled out some polaroid pictures from one of her drawers.

I noticed that many of them featured Billie with a pretty similar-looking blonde, tall man who seemed incredibly happy in all of them, guitar in hand in almost every picture. I soon learned that that man was Billie's brother, Finneas; who had somehow gone missing many years ago. I could instantly tell she didn't feel comfortable talking about that in particular so I didn't push her, but I knew there was way more to the story than what she'd shared. Both of us had way more to share.

All in due time.

After what felt like hours of talking, I ended up falling asleep against one of her shoulders for a few minutes as I listened to one of the many 'Rory, Fin and Billie adventures' (that's how she likes to call them); her soothing voice lulling me to sleep.

I guess I woke up a couple of seconds later cause I found her caressing my cheek softly and looking at me with a fond smile on her lips; which made me stand up quickly and apologize profusely as my cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. I mentally cursed at myself for letting that happen but she shrugged it off, making some type of joke about her having to get as much action as me to be able to fall asleep that quickly.

That's when I decided that it was too late for me to really pay attention to everything Billie had to say, and I couldn't keep falling asleep on her and missing amazing parts of her life. She didn't deserve that. So I made her promise we'd continue our conversation someday else and crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow.

"It's gonna be okay. I promise" she whispers when I don't say anything in return and my gaze drifts down to her lips for a second. I lick mine involuntarily and she smirks, the tension clear between us.

God, those lips. They don't let me think properly.

I realized that whenever we get too close to each other, I can't focus on anything else but her. Not only that but her demeanor around me has slightly changed since yesterday (positively) and now I feel this strong pull towards her presence even more.