Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

15. Matching t-shirts

I was speechless. What was he saying? My heart started to race, but I didn't want to believe what I was hearing. Ash was an elite; he could have anyone he wanted.

"Why?" I managed to croak after a while.

Ash spread his legs wide on the floor and leaned his back to the wall. Then he grabbed me, placing me with my back against his chest and his arms around me. He caressed his cheek against my ear, and I couldn't help the shiver running through me.

"Because I want you to myself. I'm not interested in anyone else. If I like someone my entire focus is on that person and that person alone, you understand? I like you. And by the looks of your behavior just now I suspect you like me too. Am I wrong?"

My heart skipped a beat, and something bubbled up inside me, something that didn't hurt. It felt so liberating, so damn good, and all in all incomprehensible. He liked me. I grabbed his neck and bent his face down to me.

"I like you," I murmured and kissed him.

I felt light as a feather as he held me tighter, playing with the tip of his tongue over my lips and I could feel a faint taste of cigarettes and bubble gum in his kiss. That huge boulder that was lodged in my chest was gone and everything that was left was Ash's embrace. I could have stayed there on the floor for days, but Ash ended the kiss after a little while.

"Why were you so anxious?" he said.

"Because we never talked about it," I said quietly. "What we are or whatever. And because I'm a fucking neurotic who's not even orbiting the same sun as you."

He entwined his fingers in mine.

"You have a fucked-up self-image, that's all. But that'll change if you just spend more time with the right people. But until then, just promise me that you'll trust me? I'm not going anywhere, believe me."

"I'm not going anywhere either, just so you know," I smiled, and I heard his laughter.

"Good, because it would make me damn disappointed if you did." He pulled me up from the floor. "We're invited to a party tonight at Florian's and his boyfriend's place."

He said it like it was the most normal thing in the world. The calm that had just landed in me was changed in an instant to uneasiness and I glanced at him to see if he was joking. But he wasn't.

"That was what we talked about yesterday," he continued. "When I told him about you, he invited us both."

"I don't know if I can handle two parties in a row," I said hesitant and went to the kitchen to grab my coffee.

He came up from behind and hugged me.

"You don't wanna miss this party," he said vehemently. "It's kind of a... special party. And I think you'll like the people there, they're not like our dear co-workers at the party yesterday. If you get tired, I promise you we'll leave, but give it a chance?"

"Ok, if you promise. What do you mean by special?"

He gave me a secretive smile and locked my wrists together in front of me.

"You know, we talked about shibari and stuff? You wanna watch it live, and other nice things? Then you'll wanna go to that party."

I blinked in surprise. Was he serious? Would there be a shibari show at a private party? What kind of people did he know, anyway? But this was Ash, the guy with ropes hanging on his bedframe for Christ's sake, what was I thinking. Of course he knew people that were in to that kind of stuff. The question was how I would fit into to that environment, me being a total newbie in just about everything. But Ash seemed sure, and I wanted to trust him. I had promised him I would, so I had to keep my word.