61. Recognition of oneself

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I almost felt guilty for how exuberantly happy I was when we stepped inside the doors of Cupid's Den. On the way there, I had suddenly remembered Nathan and that the problem hadn't been solved yet, but no matter how I tried, I couldn't quite let go of my own good mood. When I apologized for it to Ash, a little embarrassed, he just snorted and said that I was actually allowed to be selfish sometimes.

"And I like to see you happy," he smiled, squeezing my hand as we walked past the guard into the club.

You could clearly see which part of the club Florian had claimed. Ash groaned loudly when he saw the garlands and glitter strewn across the tables and muttered under his breath that he was going to strangle Florian after tonight, but I thought it just added to the atmosphere. Nathan was sitting with some people I didn't recognize at one of the tables, most likely his friends, and he looked up briefly and nodded at us. Ash nodded back.

It would be a long time before they were friends again, I thought. If they ever would be. But I didn't want their resentment towards each other to ruin my mood, so I looked around and spotted Chris sitting alone at another table. Holy shit, he'd actually braved coming here. Chris looked like a lost puppy, glancing around anxiously before spotting me and Ash and the relief was so obvious on his face that I almost felt sorry for him.

"Jack!" he exclaimed and stood up. "Damn, I thought you'd never get here."

We sat down at his table and he immediately looked calmer. Florian materialized almost magically at the table a minute later, wearing some sort of purple sequin jacket, and set down three umbrella drinks on the table.

"At this table, the booze is free all night," he smiled exuberantly and gave me an extra-long look. "You look absolutely adorable tonight, by the way, Jamie."

Then he made a subtle gesture to his neck and smiled even more, then disappeared off towards the bar. I automatically reached for my neck and suddenly remembered both the collar and the cat ears. And my skin was stinging at the spot where Ash had bitten me. Ash gave me a sly smirk as he watched me wince in pain. Chris squinted at me and took a deep sip of his drink.

"I guess you know it's still not Halloween?" he said vaguely. "Are you a closet goth or something, it looks like one of those necklaces?"

I instantly made up my mind. Why should I go around being ashamed of who I was? If Chris wanted to think I was a sick son of a bitch, then let him. I was tired of trying to explain it all away all the time. I quickly looked at Ash.

"It's not a necklace, it's a collar," I said calmly. "It symbolizes that I belong to Ash."

Chris looked confusedly at Ash, who met his gaze with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

"It means that I'm the one in control," he said, hooking his index finger into the ring on my collar. "Don't think you need any more explanation than that, do you?"

To my delight, I watched Chris turn red all the way up to his hairline, shake his head and take another big gulp of his drink. For once, he was the one in uncharted territory and not me. It was almost absurd how much I enjoyed that feeling. I was interrupted, however, when an all-too-familiar squeal was heard right behind me and I was swept up from my chair by my sister, who gave me a heartfelt hug.

"I didn't know my brother had such a kinky side," Zoey whispered giggling in my ear and then sat down next to Chris, who greeted her, seemingly relieved. "You'll have to settle for me, Daniel's working."

Zoey also got a drink after Florian came up and introduced himself and then we just sat and talked. Ash declared our table a Keith-free zone, when he thought speculation was starting to get too heated over what had happened. He felt that we would find out soon enough anyway, and he had no desire to sit and rehash what was already over. I could understand him, but since I had kept my thoughts at bay for so long, I couldn't stop them any longer.

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