basorexia
(n) an overwhelming urge to kiss
"I can't be who she needs me to be, Alex. I'm trying to be a resident and a wife and I'm trying to keep it all together, but I can't."
"You can do this, I know you can. Your Dad would be so proud of how fa...
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She's drifting in and out of consciousness.
All she knows is that she's laying in a pool of her blood. Her red hair fans out onto the floor, the blood seeps into her clothes. She's covered in blood and so much pain, her nose is broken and she can feel the bruises beginning to form. Her red hair fans out onto the hardwood floor,
She's trying to speak, trying to form words but nothing comes out. She wants to scream for help, screams in pain but her voice is empty. she has nothing to say.
*
"How are you and Teddy?" Charlie questions her friend at lunch.
"We're...professional." Cristina hesitates
"You're stupid."
"What does that mean."
"It means you're still blaming her for something that isn't her fault. George wasn't her fault, I wasn't her fault." Charlie stares at her from across the cafeteria table. Cristina pokes at her salad and stares down at the plastic container. "She didn't make him join the army, Cristina and I didn't OD because of her. You need to let it go, I know it's hard and I know you hold grudges like a bitch, but this is one you just need to let go of. George may not be here, but I am, I'm here and I'm alive and I got a kid. Sometimes you just...you gotta move on." Charlie smiles and Cristina nods her head. "Talk to her, forgive her." Charlie steals a tomato from Cristina's salad and shoots her a wink.
Cristina watches as Teddy stands by the nurse station scribbling down notes on a patient chart. She takes a breath and internally debates talking to her, she stares at the blonde. She missed her so much, and Charlie was right, she was blaming her. George died 6 months ago and she was still blaming her for something that wasn't her fault.
"You're staring, Yang." Teddy mumbles and Cristina lets out the breath she didn't realise she had been holding. She strides over to her ex and says what she wants to say.
"I don't...I don't do this. I don't love easily, but you...you make me want to be better, a better surgeon, a better person, you push me to be the best and that's what I need. I need to be the best, I need to be pushed, by you. I need...I need you."
Teddy stares at Cristina. She doesn't know what to say.
"I blamed you for George and I blamed you for Charlie and that was wrong, their decisions weren't because of you. I miss you and I'm sorry and if it's too late I understand but I just needed to tell you." Cristina just nods her head and turns around to walk away.
"You were right," Teddy calls to her. Cristina turns around, Teddy places her pen in her breast pocket and steps closer to Cristina. "You were right to blame me for O'Malley. He may have decided but I was the one who put the idea in his head. As for Beck, I was a catalyst. I sparked the events that caused her to OD. For what it's worth, I miss you too and it's not too late...do you want to grab a coffee and we can talk?" Teddy smiles and Cristina nods her head and smiles too.
