basorexia
(n) an overwhelming urge to kiss
"I can't be who she needs me to be, Alex. I'm trying to be a resident and a wife and I'm trying to keep it all together, but I can't."
"You can do this, I know you can. Your Dad would be so proud of how fa...
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"Would anyone else like to share anything?" The room is quiet, they're all sitting in a circle.
"I would," Charlie says and the group therapist raises his eyebrows and crosses his legs sitting back waiting to hear what Charlie has to say. She stands up and takes a deep breath. "My dad died when I was 17 and...that same month I stole 100 bucks from my mom and went out and bought black-market codeine. I then went and got high in the treehouse my dad built for me and my brothers. I went AWOL for about a year after, I would come home every once in a while and steal money from my mom and one time I stole my brother's laptop and sold it for cash. I don't think he's ever really forgiven me for that," She stops and lets out the shaky breath, "That's where all my problems began. I turned 17 in the back alley behind a dumpster and on the first anniversary of my dad dying, I was stealing money so I could pay back my dealer."
The group sit in silence, listening intently to what she has to share.
"My old girlfriend...Dani...she overdosed in her car that November. It was below freezing but we didn't care because we had each other. I just...I made mistakes. A lot of them. I've hurt a lot of people. A lot of good people." She stops for a second, trying to stop herself from breaking down completely. "On my eighteenth birthday, my mom found me on the floor of my bedroom, choking on my own vomit because I took too many pills. I lied to my mom, told her I was clean and I was okay...but I really wasn't. I felt so alone on my birthday that I went out bought a couple of grams or some pills I don't really remember. I tried to kill myself. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. I was so miserable with my life and the way it was going. I don't think I regret it, because I hadn't done it then, then I knew I would have done it later. I went to rehab and I was fine. At med school, I nearly had a relapse but I stayed strong." Charlie goes quiet and thinks about her life since med school: the people she's met, the friends she made.
"Charlie," The group therapist says gently to her. She comes back to the present and smiles.
"Sorry...where was I?" She tries to think about where her story stopped.
"You were talking about med school." Someone speaks up.
"Med school," She smiles and laughs to herself. "Going to Med school in Pennsylvania with my best friend, was...one of the best experiences of my life, and I will always be grateful for the time I spent at Perelman. It bought me to Seattle. I met some of my best friends here, I met my wife here. I'm good here, but don't get me wrong I'm a Boston girl till I die, but...Seattle is my home."
Seattle is her home. She hasn't been there very long but she knows all the best spots in the city. She knows where the best place to get Pad Thai is, and where she can get the most amazing breakfast burrito. Then there's that little store on the corner by her old apartment that Mrs Chen ran, who always gave her discounts and always kept at least 3 bags of Cheetos behind for her, all because she helped fix her car that one time. Yes, Boston was she was born and she will love it forever, but Seattle is her home, Seattle is where her heart is.
