Twilight Imagines

14. Just Breathe (Jasper Hale)

   "Why do you act this way?" I asked quietly in the dimly lit room.  
   Jasper tipped his head slightly as he responded.  "Act what way?" 
   "You have no problem being near me at school or out in town, but the moment you sneak in my window at night, you refuse to be closer than five feet to me.  It confuses me," I told him, finally speaking my mind.  
   He sighed, leaning forward in the chair and resting his elbows on his knees.  It was well past midnight and he was seated across the room while I was curled up on my bed.  It was our usual routine and our usual positions, but I was growing weary of simply talking to the guy who supposedly loved me.  I wanted to hold him in my arms, kiss his cheek, and act like a real couple.  He simply wouldn't come near me, though.  Not unless we were out by other people, and then he'd hold my hand, wrap his arm around me, and even kiss my temple.  I didn't understand what was so different about doing that when we were alone, too.  
   "I don't trust myself to be close to you," He began softly, his eyes holding my gaze.  "When my siblings are nearby, it's a different story.  They'll hopefully be able to keep me from snapping.  But I can't guarantee your safety when they're not around." 
   Instantly, I felt a little guilty.  He was only staying away to protect me.  "You won't hurt me, Jasper." 
   "I can't guarantee that." 
   "But you won't."
   I slid off the bed and walked over closer to him.  He visibly stiffened and I could tell he was holding his breath.  I stopped a foot in front of him and waited until he met my gaze again.  
   "You won't.  I trust you, Jasper." 
   He shook his head.  "Don't." 
   Reaching my hand out, I gently pulled on his arm.  He stood, though if it was because I wanted him to or because he wanted to run away I wasn't sure.  Moving slowly, which had to be a snail's pace to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled up at him.  
   "Are you okay with this?" I whispered.  
   It took him a second, but he nodded.  He still wasn't breathing, though.  
   "Breathe, Jasper.  It's okay.  Just breathe," I encouraged, keeping my arms around his cold neck.  
   "Amanda," He groaned softly, shifting like he was going to pull away.  
   "At least hug me back?" I requested, knowing it'd be better to let him get used to my scent slowly.  
   His arms were ice cold through my thin t-shirt as he wrapped them around my waist.  After a moment, he pulled me just a touch closer to him.  As he did, I could feel the smallest hint of a sliver of his stress slip away.  Human or vampire, physical contact did help ease pain or stress.  
   "See?" I whispered, peering up at his face.  "Isn't this nice?" 
   He gazed down at me for a minute, his eyebrows still low in a slight frown.  He did nod, though.  "It is nice." 
   "You just have to trust yourself, Jasper.  Like I trust you." I gave him a gentle smile, tipping my head to make it a little more cheesy.  It worked; a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.  
   "You do test me," He commented after a moment of silence.  
   "What's life without a little adventure?" I shrugged.  "Besides, I really want to be a good girlfriend for you, and I can't do that if you're always five feet away." 
   Something flickered in his golden eyes in response to my words.  I watched, curious about what that could mean.  I knew he already knew how I felt about him, with his cool super power.  So what had triggered that change in him? 
   To my surprise, he pulled me even closer to him!  Now wrapping me in a close embrace, he lowered his face down towards my shoulder.  My heart started beating a little faster at his closeness and because I wasn't sure what was happening.  He turned his face slightly, his nose brushing the skin of my neck.  I waited, not knowing quite what to do.  
   And then?  He sucked in a deep breath.  
   I felt a shudder shake his body as he breathed in my scent.  He was trying to control himself, I knew.  He released the breath and then took in another one, this time through his mouth.  His lips brushed my neck now, sending a shudder through me this time.  I certainly hadn't expected this!  
   Three deep breaths later, he pulled back so he could look down at me.  With that crooked smile I loved so much, he gave me a small nod.  
   "Breathe, Amanda," He whispered.  
   I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath.  It took me a second to remember how to breath properly.  Now I knew how Bella had felt.  
   "I take it you like my scent," I managed after a minute, making him chuckle.  
   "I think I can handle it," He said.  
   "Just gotta trust yourself," I stated cheerfully, grinning up at him.  
   Chuckling once again, he pulled me back into a close hug.  "It's you I trust, darlin'.  I trust you." 

(Published March 20, 2022)