Duskwood: Love's Beginning

31 - Jake

Why was she giggling...oh. I felt myself blushing. I walked right into that one. But then I grinned. It was pretty funny. Either way, I was happy to share a first with her, even if it was only sharing my...screen. ;) I hoped there would be many more firsts with her to come.

We went through the pictures meticulously, picking apart every detail. When we came across a picture with just Jayna's name, a lump formed in my throat. "I am sorry," I told her.

"You don't have to be," she responded immediately.

Dear Jayna. She still did not realize how much she meant to me. How much it killed me to worry that she was in harm's way. Luckily, it was just her name. No photos or other information like he had of the others. So he didn't know a lot about her, and that was reassuring.

But it was not enough. I needed to do more to protect her. What else could I do? I searched my mind for a solution but came up with nothing. She, on the other hand, was surprisingly calm, stoic even. I only got panicked. I felt my throat closing up; it was hard to breathe.

I had to take long, deep breaths for a few seconds. Jayna waited patiently, not saying anything. When we completed our review of the last picture, I almost wanted to keep her on a screen share with me. Or even better, video chat. But, no–that was too risky.

Once Thomas notified us that Hannah's phone had sufficient battery power, I asked for her help once again in her own way. "You mean...Straightforward, cool, and charming?" she asked. I laughed outright at her response. Yes, that was her exactly. And fiercely loyal and kind, I might add.

There was an interesting conversation between Thomas and Dan about Lilly, but I had to put that aside for now. No matter who brought the gun. I was not a fan of guns; I preferred weapons in the form of programming. But perhaps it would make them all feel secure in light of their current situation.

When Jayna informed me that the kidnapper was texting her through Hannah's phone, I felt like we must be getting even closer to the truth. Then we made a breakthrough–Hannah might be at the waterfall. Thomas, in his usual style, was ready to run off without any consideration and probably make things worse. Against my better judgment, Jayna convinced them that she would try to talk to Alan Bloomgate and ask him to go.

I have to admit, I lost my temper and acted childishly. I should not have just logged off like that. I did not want to hurt her. But there was absolutely no way I would allow Jayna to be in danger from the police, any more than I would allow the kidnapper access to her. She needed to stay in Portland, where it was safest for her. Or even better, Portland, Maine. Auckland, New Zealand, or Nome, Alaska would be equally fine with me.

Once I calmed down a bit, though, I worried about the rift this might put between us. I was so bad at this...relationship. Did I even have the right to call it such? How could I deserve her, if I now did not even know how to make things better? I could not, in honesty, apologize. I would keep her safe, even if it meant losing her. That thought put weight on my chest. For fear of saying incorrect words and making it worse, I would not say anything for the moment.