Duskwood: Love's Beginning

49 - Jayna

I don't know what caused me to tell that smelly, twitchy man that I was Jake's wife. But the look on Jake's face made it worth it. Maybe it was the consistent love and kindness that he showed me. Or perhaps it was the trust that we had built or the way he was willing to go far outside his comfort zone to accommodate me.

I still didn't care for the policies about marriage in this country, and as long as a bunch of old white men held most of the power, they were unlikely to change. But maybe I didn't have to be so opposed to the idea of using the terms. I knew many people who used them to refer to their partners, without the piece of paper. They didn't attach the words to the legal contract that the government had created, but rather the feelings they had for one another.

I hadn't known Jake long. But sometimes, when you meet people, it's as if you've known them forever, and you knew you would always want them in your life. It was like that with Jake. 

We were back in the car, driving away from that guy's house. I reached across for Jake's hand, watching him smile as he entwined our fingers. "What would you like to do while we wait?"

A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," he replied immediately.

"How do you have money? Is it from hacking jobs, or...are you an Uber driver in your spare time?" OK, I might have said that last part because I loved to watch him laugh.

"I make my money honestly," he said. "As a teenager, I taught myself about the stock market. As soon as I was old enough to open accounts, I started investing in both domestic and international markets, and then cryptocurrency, once I felt it was relatively stable. I have many long-term investments, but I do sell off profits occasionally to pay for living expenses."

"Wow," I said. "Can you teach me about that?"

"Absolutely," he responded."Once we get settled somewhere, I can show you what I know."

"Thank you," I smiled. "I doubt that I'll be able to still be a nurse, so I will need a way to make money."

His smile dropped. "Will you be sad if you can no longer work in healthcare?"

"Well..." I tried to think about how I could properly express my feelings. "Nursing was a great career. I really loved my job, and I loved working with Lia, my boss. But it was also tough, especially in a community clinic. I saw a lot of bad things happen, and there were a lot of people that couldn't be helped."

"That must have been very painful for someone as kindhearted as yourself," he observed.

"Thank you for saying so. It did hurt me, every time we couldn't give someone what they needed. Like Richy." I sighed. "Lots of healthcare workers burn themselves out, especially with COVID. I thought that if I furthered my education, then maybe it wouldn't be so hard. Maybe if I had more knowledge and training, then I could help more people, and it would feel like I had more control. But the truth is, there are always going to be things that can't be controlled by medical care. Even if you learn everything there is to know, there will still be unknowns.

"I guess what I'm saying is, yes, I'll miss it. But it will also sort of be a relief to not do it anymore. If I can find something else that I'm really interested in, then I will be fine. I just can't be a housewife, that wouldn't be enough to keep me happy."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "I do not want to make assumptions, but being a housewife would mean being married, would it not?"

"Not necessarily. What if it meant simply that two people had made a commitment and decided to refer to each other with whatever labels are mutually agreeable?"