The Loner and the Prep (bxb)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Watson P.O.V

I knew I wasn't going to fit in at this dinner party. And I think Elijah knew it too.

Neither one of us said anything, but I could feel it in the atmosphere as we climbed into the limousine. I was anxious, already dreading the event before the limo even had the chance to pull out of the drive. This was my first time in a limo, and I felt like throwing up. I couldn't fathom why they thought bringing me along was a good idea. I tried to push the negative thoughts down, but it was hard to tell yourself to pretend to be something you know you're not.

I wasn't this. I didn't wear expensive clothes or have a notable loving family. I was just a high school student with a horrible past, and that was all I was ever going to be. I could change my clothes and act differently, but the same old me would still be there afterward. The same anxious and depressed version of me. Is this event the reason they bought me some new clothes? So that I'd fit in?

I didn't want to think that way, but kindness had never come freely to me in the past, and I couldn't imagine that changing now. I hid my delayed realization with a fake smile, which seemed to go unnoticed. The family had done so much for me, was there for me when I needed someone there the most, and as appreciative as I was for them, I couldn't ignore the potential of something else being there besides kindness and generosity. I wanted it to be just that, but there was no benefit to them if that were the case. It would come off as kindness until it wouldn't, and I would be waiting for that moment.

"Don't be nervous," Evelyn smiled at me, misinterpreting my silence for nervousness, which was what some of it was, but not all of it. "These events are always boring." And I believed her. She was the one who had attended these events before, not me, and I found myself hoping that this event would be dull to the point that I could just float by without drawing any unwanted attention to myself. I just have to get through the night without messing things up. Easier said than done, right?

It was subtle, but I could have sworn that I felt Elijah's hand brush up against my leg. It was probably accidental, but a small part of me wanted to believe it was something, anything. I side-eyed him, but he wasn't looking in my direction, ranting enthusiastically to his family. I watched them interact for a few seconds before glancing back out the window, ignoring the fingers against my thigh. It was most definitely an accident. That family, in a way, represented exactly what I had always wanted, a loving family while also being a harsh reminder of what I would never have. Well, not in the traditional way. I cast a somber smile at the thought, wondering if I could even dare to imagine that fantasy. Daring to hope that one day they would consider me a part of the family was an unrealistic idea, but it made my heart skip with hope.

Well, it wasn't as though I wasn't already living in what felt like a dramatized fantasy. I was riding in a limousine wearing clothes that cost more than my secondhand owned cello; if that wasn't enough to make me question this temporary housing situation, then I don't know what would. It was all surreal to the point that I sometimes felt like I was dreaming and needed to wake up and return to reality . . . because I was an intruder.

The Andrews family might not want to acknowledge it, but I knew deep down that it would just be a matter of time before they figured it out as well. But I couldn't afford to think like that right now. Not with the dinner party quickly approaching. And by quickly, I mean now.

I could only watch with dread as the driver rolled down the divider window informing us that we had arrived. A fancily dressed man opened the limousine door, greeting Elijah's parents as they were the two invited. As Evelyn was climbing out of the limo, Elijah turned toward me. "Hey, don't stress. These events aren't anything special," he turned to climb out of the limousine. I would have believed you if you were to have said there would be paparazzi waiting outside, but fortunately, there were not.