Province stories

Ghosts

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"AH! Provisional! Didn't see you there... shouldn't you be watching over some provinces or something."

The ghost blinked and grumbled, "I would, but Rupert told me you were doing something stupid and looky here! You're playing tricks on the provinces and territories!"

"Pfft- yeah but didn't these people also hang you-"

PGOS grabbed the ghost by their collar and looked them in the eyes, "DONT.TALK.ABOUT.MY.DEATH. I swear I outta kill you- wait is that my son. Are you fucking over my son too?!"

The ghost shivered in the dead woman's grasp, "Umm.. I'm doing this whole ark thing. I didn't know, I mean he calls you big sister-"

"Even Buffalo isn't that much of a brick! If you do anything stupid I'm going to make sure you stay dead. Fully dead."

She let go and floated away, leaving the ghost territory absolutely terrified for his nonexistent life.

:///:

"I'm bored."

"And I don't care," Quebec grumbled, planting his head on the table. Ontario rolled his eyes, rude.

Ontario stood up on the table, stepping over Quebec's papers. Quebec grumbled, fanning away the dust. Ontario picked a paper up and read it over.

"Economic report? I was under the impression your only export was poutine," Ontario teased, dropping the report on Quebec.

"Va te faire foutre!"

Ontario kneeled down to his eye level. "I can really tell we're going to be great roommates."

Quebec groaned and laid back in his chair. "Just for a week or so you English twat."

Ontario wore a smile of glee as he hopped off the table. He flipped his wavy hair and sat back  in the chair next to him. "Tis le shame. I mean I did already use all your hair gel yesterday."

"What." Quebec looked Ontario in the eye. "You have your own hair gel!"

"You mean I had hair gel. Especially after somebody sold it on e-bay because they had a tab and they're broke as hell!"

"You read that report I am not broke!"

"Yeah, but you sure as hell are an alcoholic!"

"Everyone in this family is an alcoholic!"

"Not everyone!"

"Name one person in this family who isn't an alcoholic and it can't be yourself."

Ontario stood for a moment. He bit his lip. "Uh... Nunavut isn't," he answered.

"Nunavut is a child."

"Yeah! And not an alcoholic. Bing bouta boom, I win you lose," Ontario announced before doing a little victory dance.

"You're such a child," Quebec muttered, planting his head on the table. He was starting to doubt whether or not he was going to survive this week before his apartment was fixed.

He looked out the window, to the Toronto skyline. Buildings rose high and lights were off in favour of the evening sunlight. It was probably busy, after all cars were bustling around like there was a plague.

His eyes found a way to look at his obnoxious temporary roommate. Ontario was either a long haired version of old Canada or a very flamboyant version of Manitoba. Either way, Quebec could always find something to dislike about him.

Ding ding!

The English province got up and walked over to the door. "Weird, I wasn't expecting anyone."

"Then why would you answer the door?"

Ontario ignored Quebec and opened the door wide. Quebec couldn't have groaned more when he realized who was at the door.

Canada stood there, towering over the province with a smile. "Hello kiddo! Hey estranged kiddo! How's it going? Mind doing your old man a favour?"

Ontario stood blankly at the door as Quebec walked up to the front. Quebec grumbled, "No we don't and—"

"—Great! Just hold onto this guy for a few hours and I'll pick him up tomorrow," Canada sang out, shoving a small child in front of the two.

Quebec twisted around the doorframe and yelled down the hall, "HEY! I'm not watching some child!"

"I'll change your card to say the nation of Quebec or something?"

"Nation of the Québécois!"

"Yes yes whatever. I have to go!"

Ontario slowly shut the door as a small child took the seat from the table. He opened his hands and laid down a few papers, pencils, crystals, incense and other supernatural items. He had a circular eyepatch and blue skin with Union Jack hair. Quebec thought Nova Scotia had mentioned such a child once or twice.

"So kid... what's your name?" Ontario asked as best he could, elbow on table.

The kid brightened up. "Oh well I'm Turks and Caicos! And I'm not a kid y'know, I'm a whole 61 years!"

"You think that's old? We're 156!" Ontario added, looping an arm around Quebec. He shrugged it off as soon as possible.

"Woooooow! I thought you'd be 250, like that old guy with a beard and feather hat!" Turks and Caicos said brightly. "He's like, I'm a mean old man who hates his little brother and just a dumb company!" He mocked before breaking into a laughing fit.

Ontario and Quebec shared a glance. Quebec squinted his eyes before asking, "What was his name?"

Turks and Caicos seemed to stop computing for a moment before beaming, "Oh right you don't know! Well first Canada tried to drop me off with this tall guy and a little girl and there was this ghost watching their every move. He did not like the tall guy, at all. Rupert's land I think?"

"You... can talk to dead provinces?" Ontario muttered.

Turks and Caicos nodded and giggled, "Dead countries, dead territories... anything that's dead and a personification! When Britain takes me through Europe... there's a lot of cool conversations I have! Some are really weird and mean though. Have you ever been to Mister Italy's house? So so many dead countries." Turks and Caicos shook his head and began doodling on a paper. "What, do you want to talk to one? Most of them hate you y'know."

"Really? Who?" Ontario leaned in and looked at the little boy. Quebec sighed and pulled Ontario off.

"What he means is that he doesn't understand people don't like him," Quebec said strongly. Ontario smoked up, elbowing him in the gut.

Turks and Caicos laughed at the two before answering, "Sure! But you have to teach me how to be a province just like you! Canada won't let me join and Nova Scotia's lessons aren't helping much, heh."

Ontario looked at Quebec.

Quebec looked at Ontario.

"Absolutely!"

"Hell no."

"He means that it'd be a great thing to help you!" Ontario called, making a smile on Quebec'a face. Quebec snarled, pushing him off.

Turk and Caicos smiled big and accidentally pushed off all of the things on the desk causing a mess. "Ooops."

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1121 words

Ghosts we gunna cover

-Provisional Government of Saskatchewan (PGOS) (also not Saskatchewan. If they met they would loathe eachother)
-Rupert's land
-Keetawin Territory
-Buffalo

If you have any more please comment so.