✓ sorry, i love you || hwang hyunjin

[07] dear aera, it's almost been a year

April 18, 2023

ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴀᴇʀᴀ,

ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟᴍᴏꜱᴛ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ. ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ. ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ. ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ? ɪᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴍᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴɴɪᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀꜰᴇᴛᴇʀɪᴀ. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴɴɪᴇ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʙᴏʏꜱ ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴇꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ.

ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ ʙᴏʏ ᴡʜᴏ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇʏᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ. ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ? ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀꜱᴋ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴊᴏᴋɪɴɢ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ, ᴀᴇʀɪ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴡᴇʀᴇ.

ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴜꜱ, ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴇᴠᴀꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴɴɪᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴜꜱ; ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴡꜱ ɢᴏᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ, ꜱᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏꜰꜰᴇʀ ᴍᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴅᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇꜱ. ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴀʟᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴀʏ. ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, ɪ ꜱᴛᴀʏᴇᴅ ꜱᴇᴄʟᴜᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪɴɴɪᴇ. ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴏᴀᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴏᴀᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴜꜱ.

ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ʏᴇꜱᴛᴇʀᴅᴀʏ.ᴀ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ ʙᴏʏꜱ ʙᴇꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ, ᴀᴇʀᴀ. ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ. ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ ʙᴏʏꜱ. ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ʟᴏɴᴇʀ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ. ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ. ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴊᴇᴏɴᴊɪɴ ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀɴ ɪᴅɪᴏᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ.

ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.

ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ʟʟ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ ɪꜰ ᴍʏ ɢᴜɪꜱᴇ ꜰᴀᴅᴇꜱ. ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪꜰ ᴊᴇᴏɴɢɪɴ ʜᴀꜱ ꜱᴇᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ꜱᴇᴇɴ.

ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ, ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ, ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ. ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴏᴜʀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ; ɪ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʀᴏᴏᴍ.

ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ, ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴄʀɪᴇꜱ ɪɴ ᴘᴀɪɴ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴍʏ ꜱᴏᴜʟ ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ.

ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴀᴇʀᴀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴡɪʟʟ. ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ ᴀᴍᴏɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱ.

ʟᴏᴠᴇ,
ℕ𝔸𝔹𝕀