✓ sorry, i love you || hwang hyunjin

[19] choi aera, the love of his life

Chan's POV

No, no, no, no, no, no, no— this can't be happening again, he thought as he woke up gasping for air. He could vividly see what he had seen in his dreams: a beautiful girl with a bareface and black hair in a bob-cut. He didn't even have to try to recognize who she was.

Aera.

Chan and Aera had always been the perfect couple; they were always happy together. Chan could have never imagined living without her... until he was forced to.

Almost a year ago, Aera stopped talking to Chan. She wouldn't respond to his texts or the letters he slipped into her letterbox in her room. Life was hard enough; not having Aera only made it worse.

Chan thought that she had moved away. When they were dating, Aera had mentioned that her parents had wanted to send her to a high school in America. Every time she brought this up, she'd be in tears. The boy never would've guessed that the love of his life would have just left him like that.

~ flashback ~

"Chan... I'm scared," Aera confessed, a tear falling out of the corner of her eye as she laid in her boyfriend's lap.

The older boy looked at her, concerned. "What's wrong, baby girl?" He asked, his voice smooth like butter.

She sniffled slightly as she explained, "My parents are insisting that I go to America to finish high school. I don't want to, Channie. I really don't want to. I don't want to lose you and my friends from school. I know it seems like I'm trying to hide you because I haven't told anyone about... us"— she blushed slightly— "but you are my world. And I'm scared to say this since I'm only 15, but I think... I think I love you."

Chan gasped softly as he heard the words spill from her mouth. A soft smile danced across his lips as he brought his face closer to her, saying, "Baby girl, you won't ever lose me," he whispered, his lips grazing her's before they met.

Sure, they had kissed before, but this just felt different. Instead of their usual, quick kisses, this just felt different. Their lips were dancing in sync slowly, and it seemed as though time had stopped.

Chan was smiling through the kiss; this was the happiest he had been in a long time.

With the love of his life.

Little did he know... that was going to be the last time he saw her.

~ present ~

Every time Chan thought about her, he couldn't keep his mind off that. Why had Aera talked to him about that if she was going to leave that evening anyways? Every time he thought about it, however, he'd only go in a downward spiral; circling deeper down into his depression.

After Aera had first left him, he thought it was a prank. He asked his friends and didn't think much of it. A few days later, he started getting delusional. There was no way that Aera would've left him... right? He would've asked her friends, but he didn't know them— Aera said that they would have gotten mad at her for dating someone older than her. A week after she left, the hard reality struck him in the face.

Aera was gone.

Chan retreated to the back of the class. He never hung out with his friends. He spent most of his time in the dark depths of his room.

Until he saw her.

A pretty girl with long dark hair and doe eyes.

Her eyes were friendly, and day by day, Chan seemed to gravitate towards her. He never did, though; she only would've called him a creep.

After he saw her and her carefree lifestyle with her best friend, Chan remembered how to live. He remembered the warmth of the sun on his skin and the joy of laughing with his friends.

Slowly, but surely, this girl helped him out of the rabbit hole without even knowing. To Chan's friends, it must have seemed like a miracle. But he knew the true story. He knew it was because of the butterfly-like girl who lifted him up into the breeze with her.

Then by pure luck, she joined his class. And that's when he knew her name.

Bae Nabi.

It seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it. It didn't matter; Nabi was slowly healing the hole in his heart that was created when Aera first left.

But every once in a while, he'd have panic attacks and nightmares. He'd remember what Aera was like and how much they meant to each other. And then he'd wake up, gasping for air until he managed to swallow down the medicine he kept next to him.

Just like now.

Chan reached over to his table, the lack of air suffocating him. He fumbled with the lid and popped his dosage in his mouth before swallowing it. It was painful, but he did it. A few seconds later, he felt his airways open up again and he breathed a sigh of relief.

In his now-clear mind, he could only see one thing.

Choi Aera.