You Play the Field - I Play the Strings

Chapter 27

"Conner?" I open the door to our shared room confused. Must still be in class or god knows where. I shrug it off and go to the bathroom checking my face after washing my hands.

The swelling is gone and there's just the faint marks of bruising, but besides that it'll be gone soon. I haven't heard anything yet either since that night two weeks ago. Maybe I can have him buy something and we just drink ourselves. I mean I'd give him money for it of course.

I leave the bathroom shrugging my coat back on before grabbing Will. My phone securely in my pocket with my wallet, I hurry to my hidden little alcove taking a seat on the bench now that the ground is colder. I can feel that it is going to snow in the next week or so.

Still I sit and pull my notebook out before starting to strum along to the song I have been attempting to write, but I keep changing everything. It's not good enough. I want it to be spectacular. Especially if this is going to be something I sing for Conner.

I'm so lost in trying to create something special that I don't even realize somebody has entered my private space. Well more like someones. I don't notice them at all until it's too late.

My heart stops when I do see them and I quickly shove my notebook away. I stand with Will still in my hand trying to seem intimidating.

"First party and you were already putting out for the other team I hear" Cash taunts as his two little henchmen cross their arms very obviously the ones that told him what happen.

"You guys really don't know how to mind your own business" I grab everything and start to leave. A hand rushes forward and just like that I've stumbling back. I quickly stable myself sending them the best glare I could muster.

"Back the fuck off. You're not going to bully me into sleeping with you. None of you are. I have standards. Personality and look wise you all don't even come close" I start to put will in his case when he's suddenly ripped from me.

"Hey Cash stop too much" Royce shouts as my eyes go wide. I don't think. I just go, jumping at Cash and grabbing his arms, but Jerron grabs my shoulders and rips me back. I flail, tumbling to the ground.

"Wait! Stop! Cash... please do not break my guitar!" I turn to begging, hurrying to stand again. Cash seems to look between the guitar and me as Royce tries to rip it out of his grip this just makes him angrier as he lifts my one thing over his head, smashing it to the ground.

It feels like slow motion, watching the wood splinter as Will breaks. My eyes go wide and the world goes silent until it is finally overcome by loud shouting. The three quickly turn to blame each other as they bicker back and forth. I can't find myself to care as I watch the neck of my guitar fall to the ground next to the rest of the broken pieces.

Cash is laughing at this point and quickly walks off. Royce follows with a curse and Jerron walks over to me.

"Fat and emotional" he laughs staring down at me as I try to hold back the tears.

"That was the only fuckung thing I had from back home. That was the only thing keeping me sane here because of you fucking people" I shout shoving him away from me.

He seems a bit shocked but quickly shoves me back before mumbling some more curse words and making a run for it.

As soon as he's gone, I lose it. The tears stream down my face and I hurry to grab my notebook and that stupid guitar case. Why am I so attached to a guitar? I let it have the stupidness name in the world. I'm so fucking weird.

I take another look around my once protected and private space and sigh. I can't come back here anymore. This was my safe space. Why would they- how? Are they fucking following me? My eyes lock on the broken wood and strings, as I stand in front of it not sure why all I want to do is cry over the instrument. My body seems to go limp as my heart jumps and I fall to my knees.

It's gone. All my memories and fun are gone. Gathering as much of Will as I can, I try to bring him with me, but it just falls and crumbles from my arms. I can hear the way the wood stabs and rips through my jacket, tearing it slightly. I give up with a sob and drop it all.

Frustrated I stand and kick at the pile. I'll come back later and throw it all away. I can't right now. I'm not ready to throw it away. I'll lose it even more. Wiping my tears I quickly readjust everything in my arms before trudging back towards my dorm room. When I get to the door I somewhat aggressively dig through my pockets to get my card out of my wallet. I was so happy and okay earlier. I can't afford to get another one. The lock beeps and I shoulder the door open, shoving my card away before walking in and practically tossing the case to the ground near my end. No use in being careful now. My knees hurt and my hands. I think I scratched them.

"Callum? Are you okay?" His voice startles me. I didn't think he was back yet. I want to lie. I don't want him to worry. I shouldn't burden him with my tears. He wants to know though. He wants to help.

"No- no Conner I'm not. I can't catch a break" I cry throwing my notebook onto my bed. At the moment I just want to watch it burn. I would if my brain wasn't telling me that I'd regret it afterwards.

With just those words Conner springs up out of bed and takes me in his arms. I cry letting my head fall onto his shoulder.

"I can't- I can't" I cry over and over again as he rocks us back and forth.

"You can't what? Can you tell me what's going on?" He coos, pressing a kiss to my head.

"I- they found my spot and they said I was trying to throw myself onto the other team already because of the party and Cash broke Will. He destroyed my guitar. My thing from home. My one thing. What I use to play to Emery so he'd sleep. I'd write my dad a small song for his birthday every year and mama was always so proud of me for being good. Hell I already have memories with you and this guitar and now it's gone. I just left it there, I couldn't pick it up now" I sob into his neck as he tenses up his fingers momentarily prying into my skin. He realizes and quickly soothes his hands over my arms.

"I want them to leave me alone" I whisper moving away to wipe my eyes and then cringing.

"I hurt. I need to get out of these jeans. I fucking scrapped my knees" I pull put of his grip hurrying to change.

"I'm going to fucking murder them. I'm going to kill them! Fucking hell I'm going to- fuck!" I wasn't expecting the sudden loudness.

"Conner" my voice is quiet and unsure which makes him hurry over, immediately touching me in any soothing way he can.

"I'm sorry my prince. I'll focus on you first I pinky promise. Then I'll throw my tantrum. He starts to unzip my jacket and helps me shuck it off before examining my dirt stained and slightly bloody palms.

"I'll go clean up Will later, okay?" He tells me. I nod watching him go through my clothes. He grabs a pair of my loose sweat shorts and then grabs his roller derby hoodie putting it on the bed before gently pulling my long sleeve off.

I grow embarrassed and hurry to pull the hoodie on, not before getting a kiss or two.

"You know you somehow look handsome even when you cry" he compliments me and that just leads to me crying more.

His hands work to unbutton my jeans and he helpfully slides them off before handing me my shorts. I slide them on and quickly pull at the hoodie to make sure it doesn't stick on my stomach.

"Sit down Cally I'm gonna go get the first aid kit. Probably just put some peroxide on your knees" He explains and I wordlessly sit on my bed crying silently at this point. I can't believe he's gone- it's gone. Stupid name. When Conner comes back he immediately sits back down in front of me.

"I'm sorry I'm crying over a guitar"

"Don't apologize. Those three are also about to be crying about a guitar and I won't accept their apologies either."