You Play the Field - I Play the Strings

Chapter 54

"You're up next," Paige, one of the directors of the show, taps my shoulder. My eyes widen, and my grip on the guitar tightens. The guitar I've tuned 800 times now. I refused to even talk to my boyfriend about the show, too nervous I'd try to back out. Now here I was. Still ready to back out. We're live streaming on a few platforms, so I knew my dad and brother were also watching. Plus, last I heard, there were 400+ people in the auditorium. The most I've practiced in front of is like 30, which I thought was insane at the time.

I can't do this. I can do this. Just don't look. You're good. They wouldn't let you go on this stage if you weren't good. Go to a happy place. Think about the meaning of the song. It starts with me hating Conner's guts because fuck that meanie. Okay, well now that wonderful meanie is fucking me. I smile at my thoughts as a hand presses against my back, ushering me forward. I swallow but step forward until I'm in the wings just behind the curtains, watching the act before me go. I already knew it was Paige moving things along, so I didn't bother looking.

When the audience begins to clap, I look up again, my body going stiff. Then I turn back to Paige.

"I forgot everything. I- I don't know if I can do this," I begin to panic, my eyes welling with panicked tears. I turn back to the stage where they were setting up my stool, a microphone for my guitar, and a microphone for me.

A hand goes to my shoulder, and Paige squeezes it lightly, grounding me.

"Just tell me now. Do you want out? You've got like a few seconds before they announce you," she urges me to hurry.

"I-"

"Well, that was wonderful. Everybody, thanks again for coming to watch, and thanks to our viewers for all the donations. Up next, we have Callum playing the acoustic guitar and singing his original song," Rebel cheers into the microphone as I suck in a deep breath, Paige cursing behind me. The audience begins to cheer, and for some reason, I just start walking, not even thinking.

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. I sit down on the stool, positioning myself as I've practiced. Just so I'm lined up perfectly, so everything will be heard. Yet I'm not sure I want that right now.

I look up and am blinded by the light, making me grimace, which makes me panic because I probably look so stupid. I was dressed up—or, well, I was in an attempt to dress up, with dress pants and a sweater. My hair pulled back besides the few strands pulled out. Tanya even gave me a little braid that I pulled back into the ponytail.

I need to sing. I need to do it. Go. Do it. Play something. I look away from the blinding light, which in hindsight actually made it impossible to see anybody in the audience.

I look down at my guitar and start to play a few chords before quickly transitioning into the song. I have this song memorized. I could play it with my eyes closed and half asleep, but I need to look down to have an excuse to look away. I need to do this for me.

I end up playing the intro twice, but nobody actually needs to know that. Before I know it, I have opened my mouth to sing, not even thinking about who was in front of me.

"We started out from hate, and I didn't think it'd come to this," I start to sing, my eyes closed as I relive the memories. I smile as I sing, imagining my first thoughts of the idiot jock I didn't want to move in with.

"Always clashing heads and never compromising," I think of the times he would tell me to stop being annoying and I'd tell him to fuck off.

"Trying to break one another with our teasing toying kind of ways," The tiny moves we'd make, mostly him, as I tried to tell myself it was nothing.

I sing, growing louder and more proud of our story. Our song. Something I'm actually proud of. It's for us.

"Fighting to find a way to discover," I hold the note longer, going up instead of down, adding more passion into it. Closing my eyes again and stopping the guitar to focus on my voice.