You Play the Field - I Play the Strings

Chapter 31

"Time for dinner!" Conner pops his head into his old room and I look up with a smile. Putting my sheets of paper away and my notebook down I slide off of the bed and hurry over to him, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you for understanding" I tell him once again. He gives me a small kiss before opening the door wider.

"Of course Callum. You literally came on this trip with me even after your professor told you how hard this assignment was and it was a group project. I should be thanking you for even coming!? I can give you more than an hour a day if you need it" he tells me. I shake my head taking his hand, so he can lead us down the stairs and straight into the dining room.

Another bigger table had been brought in. Madeline said they used it for family dinners and get togethers, but during Christmas break it is just always out. They had assigned seats but a special spot had been added in between Conner and Rhea for me. It isn't very subtle, and I try to ignore it... Rhea hates me. Like she does not like me at all. The glares, refusing to touch me. If our elbows brush she jumps away as if I'd given her some disease.

"Oh somebody finally decided to join us" Dante scoffs getting a chuckle from his uncle.

"Sorry about that I've just got a big project due. I worked on it a lot beforehand so I shouldn't have to spend too much time on it while I'm here" I try to explain myself, but the people who don't like me don't buy it at all.

"Just don't come next time-"

"Rhea!" Her father shouts slamming his hand on the table. She looks down at the table ashamed and Holden sits back down his eyes focused on her.

"Dante you too. Watch your tone. You may be adults but I will send you to your fucking rooms" the children gasp and giggle at the curse word as I sink into my chair. I'm ruining this family.

"Holden your language" Kayson takes his hand and his husband takes a deep breath. Somebody eventually breaks the tension and starts a different conversation which lead to others digging into the food.

A hand falls to my thigh and I look over at Conner who is giving me a reassuring smile. I smile back putting my hand over his. Leaning over I rest my head on his shoulder momentarily.

"I love you" I tell him quietly, lifting my head right back off of him so I can see him. He squeezes my thigh before placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I love you too" he assures me. I smile leaning back onto my own seat, content. As long as he still loves me. Well I mean- I gotta make sure they like me too. If they don't I'd ruin his relationship with them.

I can feel the stares as the food passes by me but I refuse to eat. I can do and be better. They'll all like me more this way. I have to do this. The hand on my thigh tightens and I look over at him confused. His face was twisted into a look of concern until he sends me a pout. The word he mouths is a very obvious 'eat'. 'Not hungry' is what I fought back with. Conner scoots closer pushing at his ravioli before stabbing at one.

"Try this it's really good" I narrow my eyes at him. He always does this. Giving me a big goofy smile. One that I can't say no to most of the time. This time is one of them. I sigh and grab the fork trying the ravioli that was actually really good. I just can't. I've been working so hard. Drinking lots of water.

"It's good. Look at you not lying for once like with your sour candies" I tease and he laughs a loud laugh. It wasn't that funny. He looks back at me and I smile up at him. He's so lovely.

Madeline awes at us and soon many other members of the family start telling us all the cute things things that we've done while here. I was a blushing mess my hand holding onto his the whole time.

When dinner was finally over, I helped pick up with Conner until I was called into another room. My heart hammers about what I'm about to get told now.

"You called me?" The man I'm met with is not happy to see me st all.

"You're ruining this vacation" Dante reminds me. I can't believe I'm being picked on by adults.

"I don't know what I did wrong" I admit and he sighs.

"I just- Uncle Kyan doesn't like you... it's not hard to be unliked by him, but I really don't fucking understand how our cousin likes you after everything Kyan has told us. He must be desperate for affection at this point. We come here to enjoy our time together. I don't understand why you invited yourself?" he snaps as I shrink in on myself.

"Madeline invited me... if I would have known you guys didn't want me her I wouldn't have said yes" I explain getting an eye roll.

"And now you're playing the victim- I want to like you and I know Kyan has a temper so does Rhea but damn it we are all very protective of this family and you-" he goes silent as his father walks into the room.

"And what were you two discussing!?" Holden asks. I panic and start to open and close my mouth like a dumb fish. I'm a fucking blob fish.

"My project. He was curious what it was about. I'll be off now" I hurry away and towards the door. First I slip on my shoes and then grab my jacket as Holden quietly snaps at his son.

I leave through the front door and walk around the back through the thick of the snow, wiping some of the snow off of the bench. Yesterday when I was a little sad after getting snapped at Conner brought me out here and we shared some hot cocoa. He told me all about his happy memories with this bench. It is his mom's bench. She loved to sit out here and watch them play and do all sorts of stupid shit.

Once I'm seated, I let myself go and cry. Dropping my face into my hands I cry a lot louder than I wanted too. Some of them treat me better than I'm treated in my own home, but then I'm not welcomed here by others. No matter what I do I'm going to lose.

A door opens and I go quiet trying to muffle my pathetic noises with my hand. Madeline steps out her jacket on and a blanket around her shoulders. She smiles at me and hurries down the steps from their back door to sit next to me. I guess I forgot back doors are a thing.

She sighs when she sees my face and sits next to me wiping away my tear, but I immediately replace them with more.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying so hard to be good enough. I love your son. I do! I just don't know how to love him better. I don't know how to do it right" I start to sob again. A strangled and sympathetic motherly sound escapes her lips as she wraps her arms around me, cradling me in a hug.

"Sweetie you and him are already perfect as you are. Definitely the cutest couple here. I need you to not let anybody's words get to you. Conner has brought home two other people now who very obviously used him. So the family takes caution on who he brings. I know though. The way he talks about you. Whether it is texting or over call. The pictures he sends. You smiling up at him with that guitar in your lap. Little pictures from dates, you across the table. I doubt you've seen half the pictures he's secretly taken and sent me... he loves you a lot. I approve of you and I won't let any of my children, nieces, nephews, or my damn husband ruin that with their idiocy" she huffs squeezing me tightly.

"Thank you... I just needed a minute. Thank you" I hug her back and she nods rocking us back and forth. I laugh at this and she pulls away giving me a confused look.

"Your son. Whenever I'm sad he rocks us. I've never had anybody do it to me before. I was so confused, but I see where he gets it from" I tell her watching her face light up.

"Yeah me and his uncle Holden are big on that. So he got rocked a lot as a kid... and I guess he does it now too. Good I'm glad" she smiles, once again wiping my tears. I take in a deep breath the cold chill actually making me feel good.

"Why don't I get you something to eat? I'll bring it up to your room so you can work on your project some more as I lecture some of the family? When you're done we can start our Christmas movie night" She gives me the options, but I shake my head.

"No lectures. I don't want to ruin this holiday anymore" I groan, getting a flick on the shoulder.

"Fine but you're getting dinner upstairs. You have to eat it too. Or I'll feel bad. I want everybody to love my cooking" she pouts a very familiar pout making me laugh again.

"You and Conner are so similar"