violet
"i have to take this call." i told billie, who was resting her head on my chest while we watched the office. she responded by only lifting her head, i got up and went into her bedroom, closed the door then answered.
"your father is now aware of your sexuality." alfred informed me.
"and..." i said.
"he has sent even more men to look for you." he replied.
"no he didn't." i shook my head. "he supposed to be backing off."
"he wants to talk to you." alfred said.
"well i don't want to talk to him." i blinked. "can't he fucking just leave me alone?"
"you how mr. astor can be like. he won't stop till he gets what he wants." he explained.
"i'm aware, alfred. he's my father." i sighed. "can't i just fucking kill him? it's the only fucking way he'd leave me alone. assuming he won't come back to haunt me."
"not a smart idea miss wilson." he replied.
"is that all you called to tell me?" i questioned.
"yes." he replied.
"alright then, until next time i guess." i hung up the phone. i sighed and sat on billie's bed, holding my head with my palms.
"violet? can i come in?" billie knocked on the door a few minutes later.
"yeah." i replied.
"is everything okay?" she asked.
"i don't know." i sighed.
"let me guess." she started. "you can't me tell what's going on."
"my father is now aware that i like women." i told her.
"were you just talking to him?" she asked, siting beside me on the bed.
"no."
"then you were outed?" she frowned, confused and concerned.
"yes and no." i answered.
"okay." she nodded once. "do you want to.. talk about it?"
"not really, i just need you to hold me for a little bit." i shook my head. if she's all i have then i have to hold on to her for as long as she will allow me to. as long as she wants me to be hers and her to be mine, i have to cherish every moment with her. i have a feeling that she's slowly slipping away. she won't handle the secrecy.
she held me tightly as if she was scared i was slipping away. if only "slipping away" wasn't just an expression we would be okay. i think i might be squeezing her too tight.
i think i made a mistake. a big mistake, the kind that will effect me for the rest of my life. maybe i should have stuck with my gut that told me to run away. hurt her before you hurt her even more, and now i am going to scar her if i hurt her again.
the kind of scar that still kind of hurts after it's fully healed. but for me... i'll never heal. i don't think we'll survive this, i want us to, but we can't.
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unidentified | billie eilish fanfiction
Fanfictionliving the life that many only can dream of. forced to keep up her appearances for the public, forced to work at the family company, expected to be ceo. but this isn't the life she wants, she has a choice of who she wants to be, right? with the help...