Weakness

Love Me

Ozan's POV.

I'm turning into a marshmallow. Yeah, that's what I'm calling it because of the way that I can't even recognize myself.

Everything she does makes me feel some type of way. A type of way I have never felt before with any other woman.

She looks at me and I feel my insides turning. She smiles at me and my world collapses. She slightly touches me and I'm in heaven. Everything about her is mind-blowing. I can't bring myself to act right. Because I just can't. She's got a hold on me.

It's crazy to me how innocent and pure-hearted she is. How she agrees to try to love me. How she's kind to children and gives out to her community. She's beyond perfect. Almost makes me doubt if I'm good enough for her.

"What's on your mind? you couldn't even focus today" Maria comments.

Maria's a long-time friend. The only friend I have. You would think that a man has got to have one male friend that is almost like a brother to him well...I guess I'm different. I met her in school and ever since she just kept re-appearing in my life. I do business with her dad so that's also another thing.

It's weird because every woman I've met—I was attracted to them. But, Maria's like that one girl I can never bring myself to like above the friend zone. I can never think of her like a man. Only like a friend.

"Nothing. I'm okay." I said.

"Okay, if you say so. I still beat you though" She reminded me. I take out a five-dollar bill from my pocket and give it to her.

Truth is she's right. I was weak because I couldn't stop thinking about my wife. She's occupying my mind more than anything else right now. We bet every time we play and today she won. She's a really good player, I must admit.

"So how's Noora?" She proceeded to ask after projecting victory.

"Back to work. I miss her already." I admitted.

"Well, it's not like you were always around her before." She said.

"Right but now that she's back to work, she's busier and can't text me back as quickly. She's not sleeping before me...she's not in the kitchen helping my staff...I don't see her around and it bothers me. I'd keep her around me 24/7 if I could." I explained.

"Damn, you...really like her."

"I do, Maria. I do and I'm...fuck I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm close to falling for her too. And I can't believe myself at all." It's new to me and it's scary.

"You had sex with her?" Her question made me get up in frustration.

"No I did not and that's the problem! That's the damn problem, Maria! Vanessa—sweet, kind rich and beautiful but after two weeks and after sleeping with her? dead-end. Demi—kind, funny and cheerful and after a week? Over. Kelly, Megan, Sheila...how many more do I have to name? After a kiss or one-night stand, it was enough for me. But her? I haven't even kissed or touched in all the ways I desired and yet all I can think of, all I want is her." I'm going crazy.

"Then, have sex with her." She says it like it's so easy. I mean it is. But, not with Noor.

"You don't get it. She is different. She makes me different. For the first time, I want to wait. I want to take things slowly and go with the flow. For the first time, I feel like once we've gone past that stage...I will still be wanting her even more. You get it?" I explained.

"Are you sure this is all okay? Like, is this a good change?" She asked.

"Yes...I feel like I'm walking on clouds. You know, I took her to dinner on the beach which I had hoped would turn into sex on the beach but I forgot that she is completely out of my league. She did not once ask me about how expensive it was. She kept thanking me and she was insisting on taking me to dinner. Can you imagine this? No woman has ever said that to me. All of those women were simply waiting for the moment I spoil them with all kinds of gifts and sexual pleasure. Noor...she thanked me and then she hugged me and that was it. That was enough for me to feel incredibly...incredibly...I don't even know!" I let out a laugh. I can't believe this.