AU: None really, just a funny idea I had.
Context: The village Sabre lives in is being attacked by raiders, and they're completely cut off from outside defenses like the Colorless Guards. Little do any of them know how fricking crazy humans are about using stupid weapons.
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[Time's POV]
I finally pushed the table in front of the door, blocking the raiders from entering the house.
"These guys came out of nowhere..." I mutter as I catch my breath. I'm both glad about and regretting how many bags of cooking supplies like flour I put on that table.
My relief is short-lived, as an axe starts to break through the wooden door. Cursing my luck, I go to turn around to run up the stairs as the door gives way, when I hear Sabre shout from... above me?
"YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!"
A raider jumps over the table and rushes inside, only to be knocked out by Sabre as he hits him over the head with a heavy curtain rod I specifically remember I put in the attic. He crumples to the floor, and as the raiders gathered in front of the door start to run, Sabre goes to the door and uses the pointy decoration on the ends of the rod like a spear. That makes them run away faster.
"Sabre, what on earth-?!" I exclaim, very confused.
"Hey, anything's a weapon if you try hard enough." He shrugs.
Before I can say anything else, he jumps over the table blocking the new destroyed door and goes outside. I can already hear the confused and pained screams of the other raiders. I almost feel bad for them. Almost.
...What in all that's holy has been unleashed on them?
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[3rd Person POV]
Villagers that had previously been cowering in their homes looked on in confused gratitude of what the resident hero was doing.
As a raider broke the curtain rod he was attacking them with in half, Sabre swung one half of it for a low blow, and used the other half while the raider was distracted by pain to hit him on the head to knock him out. Another raider rushed at him from behind and knocked the rods out of his hands, and began backing him into a corner next to a cafe. Sabre suddenly picked up one of the pitchers and threw it at the raider's face, also knocking his lights out.
Another raider took him by surprise and shoved him to the ground, but as he was about to swing at Sabre with his sword, the bizarre weaponry continued as Sabre grabbed a fistful of sand from a potted cactus that was knocked over and threw the sand into the raider's eyes. The raider dropped his weapon and tried to get the sand out, giving Sabre the opportunity to sweep him legs and knock him out too.
Two more raiders rushed at him, thinking he had no other options, but the last thing they expected was for Sabre to pick up a table and hit them both over the head with it. Sabre then used the table as a giant shield to rush a group of raiders standing nearby, knocking them over and injuring them to make them down for the count.
One last raider remained, their commander. He took out two scimitars and prepared to fight Sabre, who gave a mocking grin in response. This annoyed the commander, prompting him to run at Sabre and begin the fight.
One of the curved blades stuck into the wooden table, the other aiming for Sabre's neck as it whistled through the air. Sabre ducked, shoving the commander backwards and freeing the sword from the table. He attempted to sweep his legs, but the commander stomped on Sabre's foot and shoved him back, causing him to crash to the ground. The commander sliced the table in half as it fell, rendering it useless.
As the commander tried to stab Sabre's head, Sabre rolled out of the way and got up again. This made the commander start to chase him, while he scanned the area for something he could use.
A plan started to form when he spotted the village bell hanging on a post in the center of town. Sabre quickly dashed for it, the commander following.
He ducked under the bell as he ran past the post holding it, the bell hanging at the perfect height for this to work.
Sabre turned around and grabbed the bell, lifting it high over his head as the commander realized what was happening. It was too late for him to do anything about it.
A resounding toll echoed throughout the village as the golden bell collided with the commander's forehead, immediately making him drop like a rock. The scimitars clattered to his sides as he hit the ground. Sabre smiled and placed a hand on the bell's post, leaning against it for support as he caught his breath.
Seconds later lightning thundered nearby as a very panicked Light and a few Guards arrive, but soon all look confused as the see the multitudes of raiders scattered around, the villagers already having tied up the rest during the chase so they wouldn't cause more trouble. Light looked around for a few minutes, appalled, and his eyes finally fell on Sabre standing in the center of the village with the commander at his feet.
Light took a deep breath and sighed, already making a guess on who was responsible.
"Sabre." He said, exasperated. "What in the World Below did you do?"
"Hey Light." Sabre waved, still panting, as the final chase had gotten a little close and tired him out. "I uh... I dealt with it."
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[Light's POV]
I had to keep myself from facepalming or yelling at him for being an idiot as Sabre finished explaining what happened in the village to me in my office.
"So... let me get this straight." I sigh. "The raiders got there and cut the entire village off from everything else, and when you realized what was happening when they got to your house, you just... went out there by yourself and attacked them with whatever you could find?"
"Pretty much, yeah." Sabre shrugged. How is he so nonchalant about this?
"Sabre- You realize you could have been hurt? Killed? You were just grabbing something random and swinging it at people with swords and things that are actually deadly!" I say. "How did that stupid thing with the bell even- how did any of that work?! I mean- Sand?! Seriously?!"
"Hey, the sand thing was actually a really old battle tactic from my world, so technically not random."
The room is silent for a moment, as I don't know how to respond. After a minute I just place my head in my hands, groaning.
"Why." I say flatly.
"What?" Sabre asks.
"Why are you like this."
"You'd be surprised how many of my people have won fights with dumber improvised weapons."
"How could anything be dumber than fighting raiders with a table-?"
"Potato cannon."
"...Just- Just go home." I sigh, pointing at the door for a second. How am I going to explain any of this to the Leaders? Well, it's Sabre we'll be talking about, so... maybe they'll get it.
"Fair enough. I should help clean up the damage anyway." Sabre says, getting up and heading to the door.
Sabre's already halfway out of the room when I add one more thing.
"By the way, if you do anything that stupid again, I'm ordering you to be put on house arrest."
"Oh, come on!"
YOU ARE READING
ChromaTober | 2023 FMS Writing Challenge
FanfictionHellooooo! My turn to host a writing challenge :3 You all probably know the drill by now; Each day, a one-word prompt will be published, and it's up to those participating to write something involving or inspired by the word that takes place in a Fa...
