Strains

Chapter 39

My legs are stiff and my arms fused to my sides as we cross the lobby. The receptionist calls out a 'congratulations' to us. Matthew manages to give her a friendly wave while I spam the elevator button.

Thank goodness we're the only two getting on.

The minute the doors shut behind us, I yank the ring from my finger and shove it into Matthew's chest. He rolls it around his palm.

"I knew he was deplorable, but I had no idea he'd go this far," he muses. "He had no intention of leaving his wife. To give a girlfriend a ring just to manipulate her into staying, pathetic."

I give him the side-eye.

"And your little speech, what do you call that?"

"Being honest."

"Oh come on. You can't-"His eyes lock onto mine and I freeze.

"I meant every word I said."

The elevator dings and the doors open onto our floor. Neither of us step out.

I take a deep breath.

"What do you mean, Matthew?"

The doors begin to shut. Matthew leans past me and holds them open. Finally, I step off with him trailing behind me. I start walking to our room when he doesn't offer an explanation.

This isn't fair. It's my first day back in the land of the living. I should be celebrating getting back to my old life, but instead, I keep being thrown headfirst into emotional whirlwinds. My parents are gone, so I have no family to lean on. They were the only ones I could guarantee accepting my newfound life. It'll be much harder to get my old friends to understand. Especially with Matthew hanging around.

I speed past Matthew as he holds the suite door open for me.

Wait a second.

"The answer is no, Elizabeth. I won't take any part in making your friends forget your death."

"So when you said you'd give me anything, you lied."

"I can't give you your old life back. It's gone. Buried with your bones."

I pass by him to go into the bedroom. "You're just saying that so I don't leave you. You could use your strain to help me but you only help yourself."

He follows me but stops in the doorway.

"This is the reason why only graduates are allowed to come to Topside. There are rules to being here so we don't disrupt the natural order of things, rules that we obey for the greater good."

"And trying to find my family and friends is against the rules but stealing luggage and hotel reservations isn't?"

He finally enters the room and takes my left hand in his.

"Remember your orientation. Mourn the life you had, and accept the fate you were dealt." He slides the ring back onto my finger and wipes a tear from my cheek. "Sit down, as a fellow psychic, there are some things you ought to know."

I want to hesitate and push him away, but I don't. I just sit on the mattress behind me. Matthew, still holding my hand, sits beside me.

"Except for psychics, everyone in Near Elysium is there because their bond to Topside snapped prematurely. Those souls are given the chance to repair that bond and pass on naturally. But we psychics have no ties to anything, nothing that anchors us to Topside or Near Elysium."

His finger spins the ring on my hand. I get it. I understand the phrasing of his speech now.

"When you said eternity..." I say aloud.

He nods.

"This is the oldest my body will ever get. I assume yours won't age much more either."

I nod as if I understand what is going on. No, that's not right. I understand completely, I just can't accept it. I was going to have to face immortality with Matthew.

***

I retreat to the bathroom for a long hot shower. I toss the dress to the side and put on my academy uniform. I mean former academy uniform. It feels like I just traded one emotional weight for another. Maybe Matthew had a point. I look at the rock on my finger. Being dead was a lot less of a hassle than this. What did 'being dead' even mean anymore?

I leave the bathroom and find Matthew placing the suit he was wearing on a hanger, dressed in nothing but a hotel robe.

"There weren't any pajamas in the suitcase?"

"Quit messing with me. You know lingerie is not the same thing."

At least he isn't letting the situation we're facing make things awkward between us.

The skimpy barely there undergarments weren't the only illicit products in that bag, but I already shoved those in the garbage. What I could fit anyway. Mr. Moneybags, as Matthew called him, had quite the weekend planned. I just wondered how many more of his plans would be forced onto us.

"There shouldn't be any more surprises," he says. "At least that's the impression I got from the front desk. I picked these up for you as well."

He hands me some toiletries he was able to get from the front desk. Nothing beats travel-sized samples from luxury hotels. I flick each of the caps and sniff every one of the high-end scents.

"Found your weakness, didn't I?"

I glare at him and throw a pillow at his face.

"Have fun on the couch."

"Indeed I will, it's amazingly comfortable."

He heads to the couch. For a second, I'm jealous. I haven't even had the chance to test the couch out myself.

"You're welcome to join me."

My mouth drops as he spreads over the sofa.

"What the hell happened to rule 127?"

"You brought us here, that's what. If you want that rule to apply, you'll need to take us back to the academy," he says.

"So your plan is to harass me into making a portal?"

"Do I at least get points for being creative? Who knows, it might work. You brought us here thinking about candy of all things."

I cross my arms. "Good lord, have you always been like this?"

Matthew sits up on the couch.

"If it's too much, I can stop."

I shake my hands. "No, if we're going to be stuck together like this I'd rather you'd be yourself."

His face lights up. "So you're keeping me? It was the free samples, right?"

I roll my eyes at him and walk into the bedroom. He's taking this so well. How? I forced him here, to spend eternity where he doesn't want to be. He's still making jokes, and even teasing me. He hasn't abandoned me, even though I'm hopeless.

But...that's just the kind of man that he is, isn't it? It's that thought that finally relaxes me enough to give into a food coma and sleep.