Remorse and Regrets

Chapter 32

Nandhini looked up as a glass of water came into her vision.

She tried to blink down her tears as Dhriti took a seat beside.

" Bhabhi Ma...."

"You were right, Nandhini. " Dhriti interrupted

"You do have a lot in common with Dhru than we all think " she said matter of factly.

Then looking straight into Nandhini's perplexed eyes , she continued.

"Not only Ansh, we are also your family. You are allowed to be vulnerable in front of us. You talk about everything but not about THE ONE.....I understand it is difficult and I can't express in words how sorry we are that we were not there in your time of need.... but we are here now.... Let us help you too....Dont discard your feelings as trivial...."

A lone tear left Nandhini's eyes hearing Dhriti's warm words.

Without further ado, she flung into the comforting arms of Dhriti as a sob escaped her lips.

Years have gone by but there are times when the past crash into her as an unexpected guest.

Even though Ansh has always been there with her at every juncture , be it to hold her hands, to wipe her tears or to hide her away in his calming embrace, still she always wished for their family,not for her but for her Ansh....for someone to share HIS pains.

" What are you hiding within? I am right here to hold you"

Those words were Nandhini's downfall. It gave her the courage to take, again, staggering steps through the memory lane.

" I was never alone, Bhabhi Ma even when I forgot myself"

The statement loaded with misery brought a gasp from Dhriti.

She stared at Nandhini with a mixture of shock and surprise.

Though she had a vague idea of their hardships, the picture Nandhini is painting, is setting another tone which is both terrifying as well as heartbreaking.

She wanted to stop Nandhini then and there as she had seen Nandhini's anguish clearly when she was speaking to Dhru also.

The mother in her doesn't want to inflict more pain on her children but as a woman she also wants Nandhini to let everything out.

After all it is the first step in healing.

Dhriti squeezed Nandhini's hand in an encouraging gesture to continue.

While leaning against Dhriti's chest with Dhriti's arms wound around her, Nandhini spoke of her deepest agony.

"I don't remember much of those days...my pregnancy...my delivery....
Princess's initial days..... I dont remember anything.... When I look at the photographs, I see a happy family of three but those memories are just foggy in my mind....some of them I can't even recollect...." Nandhini trailed off lost in thoughts.

Dhriti could sense a feeling of loss in the words uttered. With a racing heart, she cupped Nandhini's face .

" What is the matter , Nandhini? Why does it feel like it is not just about the lost memory or of that dark period?" she asked anxiously

Nandhini smiled wryly.

How true the saying that a mother understands her children the best.

Even though she had shared her fears and insecurities with Ansh, there was one which she had kept locked in the farthest corner of her heart.

She knew if spoken, it will be her Ansh only,who will be hurt the most.

But the motherly affection in her Bhabhi Ma's eyes, was making it all the more difficult to hold it in.