His Submissive Omega (boyxboy) Old Version

Chapter 74: Friends With The Monster

(Above is the etch-a-sketch mentioned in the chapter. Anyone remember these? When I was a kid, this was my computer.)

~October's POV~

Have you ever felt so empty?

So alone?

Like no matter what you do,

No matter who you meet,

No matter where you go,

You just feel like a shell?

Like you're the shell of the human being you once were.

That's exactly how it feels when you lose your mate.

I lost Ke'Yon. He died. And I never fully recovered. And I probably never will. I forced myself to forget how he died. When I felt his last breath, through our mate bond, it crushed me. It felt like a 10,000 ton cinder block fell onto my shoulders. I don't understand why Liam and I can't move on. To be honest.
"Liam?" I asked.
"Hm?" Liam asked.
Liam has gotten week over the past few months since Ke'Yon died. Our pack had a fall out and dispersed. Unfortunately. So I am the 'Alpha' of the Deep Water Horizon pack. Ke'Yon always said if his first pack choice name didn't fit the bill, then 'Deep Water Horizon' would suffice enough. It lets be real, he's the only reason I chose this pack name. I'm not a strict Alpha if anything. Oh no. Okay. Maybe a little.
"How you holding up?" I asked.
"About as good as a door that's been kicked in." Liam said.
See what I mean by he's gotten worse? Cause he has. I looked in my bedroom full length floor mirror. I saw a vision of Ke'Yon. Yep. I'm insane. Greaaaaaaat...
"I'm disappointed in you, October." Ke'Yon said.
"You're gone. What am I supposed to do?" I asked.
"Be who you really are. Not this pretense Alpha you are." Ke'Yon said.
I rolled my eyes.
"I knew you'd say that." I said.
"Then change it." Ke'Yon said.
"I can't. Liam's dying so to speak. And once Liam is gone, so will I." I said.
Mates can't live without the other. So once Ke'Yon died, it was o it a matter of time before I followed suit. When Ke'Yon and Sheldon died, Liam will follow. Then finally me. Also a werewolf can't love of their wolf dies either.
"I care about you, October. This isn't you." Ke'Yon said.

"I'm friends with the monster,

That's under my bed.

Get along with the voices,

Inside of my head.

You're trying to save me,

Stop holding your breath.

And you think I'm crazy,

Yeah,

You think I'm crazy.

Crazy."

"Well, that's nothing." Liam rapped back.
I mentally laughed with him.
I couldn't help but sing/rap this song. In my head of course. Because... Rihanna. Come on naw. It plays perfectly here. I've come to terms that Ke'Yon is gone and Liam is losing it.
"Hey!" Liam shouted, defensively.
And here Ke'Yon appears trying to save the day. It ain't gonna work. The only way it possibly could is if he somehow came back to life. Which isn't gonna happen anytime soon. Unless we invent like a time machine or something.
"You are losing it." I said to Liam.
"Am not!" Liam shouted.
"Are too!" I shouted back.
Liam and I never fight. But ever since Ke'Yon passed it seems as though that's all Liam and I ever do. And it very annoying. We've been through so much over the years together, but now it all seems like a waste. I know, I know. Rude. But that's what happens when your mate dies. You think negatively all the time. Regardless if it's a good or bad thing. Eventually it drives you to insanity. And I'm not about that life.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I opened it, the vision of Ke'Yon fading. His disappointed look still etched into my brain like an etch-a-sketch. And unfortunately, you can't shake the image to get rid of it. It's there forever. And it sucks. Sometimes.
"What?" I asked.
"Alpha October? There's someone by the name of Sparta here. Shall I send her in?" My Beta, Fanta, asked.
Yes, Fanta like the soda. He hates his name too.
"No. Send her to my office. But stay with her." I said.
Beta Fanta nodded. He left to my office.
"The hell does she want this time?" I asked.
I know she's family and what not but this is the third visit this week. And no offense but my pack is getting pretty frustrated with her constantly showing up. With her being with Deimos and all. Our pack and his pack have bad blood as of now. They started a war on Ke'Yon's pack years ago and I've never forgiven them sense. And probably never will. Deimos is a creepy motherfucker. And he knows it. Problem is, he's okay with it. I sighed. Better to get this over with.

-----------------

I walked into my office. Sparta and Beta Fanta stood there. Patiently waiting.
"Cut to the chase, kid. What is it now?" I asked.
"You don't talk to family that way." Sparta said.
"I don't give a fuck." I said.
"October..." Sparta whispered.
I snarled at her.
"Get her, damn it!" Liam shouted.
"You don't ever call me by my name! You address me as Alpha October! Got it?!" I shouted.
Beta Fanta growled. In warning. He's very protective over me as well as Liam is.
"December is in trouble." Sparta said.
I shrugged.
"So?" I asked.
"He's going through what you're going through. Except he also lost his brother/mate." Sparta said.
"Sucks, doesn't it?" I asked.
Sparta scowled at me.
"What?" I asked.
"You've changed." Sparta said.
"No shit Captain Obvious." I said.
Sparta gave me a disapproving look.
"Look, I'm an Alpha. My mate is dead. Liam, my wolf, is losing it. I'm getting weaker because of Ke'Yon's death. How am I supposed to act? Happy? Fuck that shit, I'm out." October said.
Sparta sighed.
"Yet you want October to go through this heartbreak too? What's happening to you will happen to him." Sparta said.
"Yeah and?" I asked.
"You can talk to him abou-" I cut her off.
"Absolutely not! I have a pack to run! As does he. I will not leave my pack alone because that's when Ke'Yon's pack was destroyed. When him and I were both gone. I have learned from my mistakes." I said.
"Then he'll come here." Sparta said.
"His pack will be defenseless! A pack is nothing without its Alpha, Beta or Delta!" I shouted.
"It is too everything! It is not nothing!" Sparta shouted.

"Sure. Lead Warriors, trackers and scouts are a must have. But who's going to lead them if the pack's three leaders are gone? Hm?" I asked.
Sparta growled. Causing Beta Fanta to snarl at her. She's really pissing both him and I off.
"Stop acting like such a child around me. You're already pissing off my Beta." I said.
"Your pack isn't a pack. It's a sea of messed up wolves that have no self control." Sparta said.
I growled.
"Oh you didn't." I said.
"I did." Sparta said.
"Beta Fanta?" I asked.
Beta Fanta looked at me. He was just like me. Absolutely livid. Seething in rage.
"Yes, Alpha?" Beta Fanta asked.
"Take Sparta here to the cells. And notify Deimos. But add in what she's done to get herself here." I said.
Beta Fanta smirked.
"With pleasure, my Alpha." Beta Fanta said.
I smirked. Beta Fanta dragged Sparta out of my office. Roughly may I add. I sighed.
"Do you think that was a little overboard?" Liam asked.
"Shut up. You know I'm tired of her shit. And I know you are too." I snapped.
He always second guesses me. And it's so annoying. He used to be with me 100%. Now he isn't. And I feel a little betrayed. One emotion I thought I'd never feel.
"You're turning into a monster." Liam said.
"Your point is?" I asked.
"You're terrifying." Liam said.
I growled.
No.

I'm just Friends with the Monster.