Don't you just hate it,
When no one communicates,
When you've lost all control,
And it's left up to the fates?
Isn't it so hard
To just leave and let things be?
Especially when you're involved,
Well... It's that way for me.
I always want control
But it's not in my hands;
I can't control others
Or the way God moves the lands.
I'm seldom able to feel safe
And anchored here in life;
It doesn't even matter
That yes, I'm someone's wife.
Home life has deteriorated,
And maybe that is why,
Even when things seem ok,
I just want to say goodbye.
Love is not the issue.
Nor that no one ever cared.
Finally at last I see
It is not as I feared.
Instead it is inside me -
The source of all my pain.
Not that they don't do things wrong
But it turns out, I'm my bane.
Though now, the next step is obscured;
I don't know what to do.
I feel as though I've no control,
Of The way that I feel too.
How am I to escape
When my foe is my mind?
How am I to fix things
If a solution I can not find?
So sure, no one is talking.
They're not letting me in the "in crowd".
But even though I hate it,
I shouldn't complain too loud,
Because even if I was let in
I'd still be my own foe.
Darling we're a long way from fixed,
This just goes to show.
--------------
I've found it hard my whole life to just let things go. I'm so concerned about everything and everyone that I destroy the things around me. I'm so controlling that people leave me. My thoughts are always telling me that there's something wrong with me, that I'm not good enough. I hate that people hide from me and refuse to let me know what's going on. It turns out everyone is either scared of having what they say affect me negatively, or they're just scared of me period.
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
Depression?
ПоэзияThis is a collection of my sad poetry I've accumulated over the years. I hope that those who read this can relate in some way. My sincerest hope is that it helps people feel less alone. I do not wish to make anyone feel worse than they already are...
