Her | BTS FF✔

Hoseok || Her Secret

WARNING: This chapter may contain sensitive topics and strong language. Viewer discretion is advised.
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Hoseok's POV

You might get sick too.

It's bad, I'm not presentable right now.

Don't wory, I'll be fine.

I stood outside of Y/N's house with a spare key in hand. All of us had a copy of it but chose to respect her privacy.

"Y/N?!" I called out as I knocked again. She wasn't answering.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

I shook my thoughts away and opened her door myself using the spare key.

"Y/N?" I called out again as I entered her flat, closing the door behind me.

The sound of vomiting greeted me, making my body move on it's own. I ran towards the bathroom to see Y/N crouched down towards the toilet, clutching her stomach lightly.

"Y/N!" I rushed over to her, kneeling beside her and moving her hair to the side with one hand while patting her back with the other.

My eyes traveled towards the bowl, seeing blood.

My heartbeat started to accelerate and I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

What's happening to you?

I painfully watched her until she finished. She gestured me to back away, and as I did, she flushed the toilet and stood up.

"Y/N-"

"Who told you that you can come here?" Her question surprised me as I stood up. Her eyes became glassy as they stared at mine.

"My heart did." I reply without a second thought. "Why?" She asked, her hands dropping to her sides.

I scoff at her.

"Why? Y/N we're all worried! We never see you anymore, you almost never contact us anymore- Y/N every second we worry if you're even alive! And I came here to see this? You said you were fine!" I felt tears stream down my cheeks as she flinched.

I quickly wiped my tears away. "H- Come with me..." I followed her to her bedroom.

Both of us sat on her bed and silence started to rise.

"Y/N... I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. I'm at fault here."

"What's wrong?..." I ask, looking into her eyes. She responded by laughing and shaking her head lightly. "I guess God has answered my prayers, but now I seem to regret."

She hands me an envelope. I looked at her strangely as I opened it, taking out result papers.

My heartbeat accelerated and I tried to make myself prepared before scanning through them.

I felt my heart stop when I saw something.

Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

As if every bit of energy fled from my body, I let go of the papers.

"Th-this is a joke, right?" I felt my eyes water again.

This can't be real...

"It's true Hoseok. I'm sorry-"

"Shut up." I interrupted her as my arms automatically wrapped around her small frame.

She seems alot thinner than the last time I saw her, and she was too pale, as if there was no blood circulating throughout her body.

"Hoseok," I felt her hand on my back, making me choke out a sob as my tears betrayed me.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." She cried.

I patted her back as I couldn't utter a single word.

I was too shocked.

"Please... Don't tell Sohee and Taehyung..."

I felt my chest tighten. "...Why are you doing this to me?" I pushed her away from my body, holding her at arm's length.

"What do you mean-"

"Do you know how much I'm hurting right now?... Why didn't you tell me sooner? Do you know how badly I want to punch Taehyung?" I looked at her in the eyes.

Her gaze dropped towards the floor. "I know... I was scared Hoseok. I'm scared." Her voice cracked, tears starting to fall from her eyes as well.

"Don't tell them. I know they'll just cancel the wedding and use the money for my treatment- I can't let thm do that..." She cries and clutched unto my chest.

"Don't tell anyone... Please..."

"I can't do that." She backed away from me a bit and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Just not Sohee and Taehyung..." I couldn't get anymore words out since my throat hurts like hell, but she nods understandingly.

I stared into her now warm eyes with my lost ones. She smiles at me. A real, but painful smile. That was enough to break me.

"Y/N..." My voice cracked as I hid my face in her neck, taking in her scent as my tears raced down my cheeks.

I held unto her small frame tightly, as if she would disappear any second, and that's not impossible.

"Wh-why is it so fast?..." I felt my hands tremble as her arms came around my back, hugging me tightly.

"In order for my life to last... I needed a will to live... I tried to, I swear..." She continued talking but in my mind I couldn't hear anything anymore, just my heart insanely beating against my chest.

I'm going to lose her... We're going to lose her...

She didn't have the will to live?... Weren't we enough?

No, it's not the time to be selfish Jung Hoseok. You don't know how she feels.

But even so... Knowing this makes it hurt so much more.

I held unto her with shaking hands, my breath starting to become unsteady.

It was like I was suffocating.

I felt her tears drop unto my back, wetting it lightly.

It made my heart clench tighter.

I'm sorry I wasn't the one for you... I'm sorry I couldn't make you feel the same way.